Jacquelyn's Space

Running out of time—story of my life.

This morning:

I think I have to leave home to get some homework done. When I stay here the dishes, laundry and my bed call my name.

I thought about going to the library today but then dismissed it because I was hungry and I thought it would take too much time to travel back and forth, not to mention the time getting breakfast and lunch. I stayed home.

Staying home was a big mistake.

No dishes, no laundry today…the bed won. I napped most of the day. Still no homework done and I am running out of time. I don’t know what to do anymore.

I did make me a new writing spot. It is in my bedroom, away from the madness but probably still too close to the bed. At least it is not on the bed though. I’ll try it out and see if it is going to work for me.

Oh yeah, I did do some laundry. There is no getting away from it.

Now it is dinner time and I am working on that and prodding a third grader (who should be in fourth) to do his homework. UGH! I cannot say that enough.

Depression among the indigent:

A Cure for Poverty

Andrew Solomon: Depression, the secret we share

“Distaste for the idea of treatment…” prohibits us from living life to the fullest, prohibits us from helping people.

“There is this false moral imperative that seems to be all around us that treatment of depression, the medications and such are an artifice and that it’s not natural.”

“The opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality, and it was vitality that seemed to seep away from me in that moment.”

So true. Exactly what I have been experiencing and it is terrible.

As seen on Facebook:

The grave of Elijah Jefferson Bond is marked by a Ouija Board headstone at Greenmount Cemetery in Maryland. Elijah Bond was best known for filing the first US patent for the Ouija Board. Elijah Bond died in 1921 and was anonymously buried in his family’s plot. Robert Murch, America’s foremost Ouija historian, located the ambiguous grave and erected the Ouija-themed headstone in 2008.

This cracks me up. I want to be cremated when I die but if I didn’t, if I were to be buried, this is the headstone I’d want. LOL.

Still need to get all my paper writing done. I really don’t want to. I am not inspired to write about the books I have been reading. It is sad and frustrating. I really need to get something done today. Time to quit stalling. I have  already done dishes and some laundry.

Here is the stuff I need to accomplish:

Dishes (never-ending)

Laundry (never-ending)

Adolescent Lit paper (4-6 pages)

Irish Lit paper, The Commitments (3-4 pages)

Finish reading The Infinities

Irish Lit paper, The Infinities (3-4 pages)

Irish Lit paper, The Blackwater Lightship (3-4  pages)

American Novel paper (2-6 pages) (past due)

American Novel report, Erasure (due whenever)

Irish Lit presentation, Emma Donoghue (due April 8)

Adolescent Lit article critique (due April 16)

Adolescent Lit author study (due April 16)

If I get all this done by March 28–31, all I’ll have to work on for April is two big papers—one for Irish Lit and one for The American Novel—and maybe some small papers for Irish Lit.

**

So after I wrote this I changed the trash. Picked up my bedroom a little. Debated on taking a shower…took a shower, sang in the shower. Made lunch for the boys. Now I really need to get down to business…

This stuff, this to do list, is making me so irritated. I must eliminate it.

**

More laundry, more dishes, more homework not done.

Went to work today. I felt I probably wouldn’t get away with calling off again. I only work 2 days a week.

It was a good day, kind of busy. I like busy. I am surprised at how much I like my job (McDonald’s) once I get there. I can only do about 3-4 hours until I feel on edge. Eventually I’ll need to work more hours and I am not sure if I can do it– it wears me out in addition to putting me on edge. I don’t know what else to do– I don’t really want an office job. I don’t like being glued to a desk either.

I really need to start looking for a new job though. Well, once I get rid of the boys.

And then there is this writing thing. I really need to do something with that. I need to send out some of my stuff. I think I will make that a goal for May.