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Bride dies during first dance at wedding – Life- msnbc.com
SkipI don’t have much to say but how sad this is
Talking about Bride dies during first dance at wedding – Life- msnbc.com
Love Is Blind
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Love is Blind
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OMG! Once upon a time I had a best friend named Johnny/Juan. I wrote about him yesterday in my Paczki blog. Well I fell in love with Juan in Jr High. I kept that a secret from him throughout high school until about 11th grade. I was afraid to ruin our friendship. He and I started going in different directions about 9th grade anyway. He found out I was in love with him but he did not return the feelings. Our friendship did suffer because he wanted to be part of the ‘IN’ crowd and I hung out more with the interesting crowd (Drama people). Even though Juan did not return my feelings and I was hurt, I still held on to those feelings for him. We had a lot of history together. All this love I had for him did not die. I waited for him for many years. It was not meant to be. Eventually I came to terms with that. I thought it was just that I was more like a sister to him, and wasn’t his type. I thought he went more for the helpless blond chicks. Well I was right and wrong. I was not his type. Yesterday, I found out Juan is …. GAY! AAAAAHHHHHHHHH. Now I can compete with my husband in regards to stupid relationship choices. He sometimes beats himself up over a mistake he made. Well he didn’t waste 10 + years of his life mooning over someone who was not or would never be interested in him. This is all very funny. It is crazy that I never knew. I am kind of glad I did not find out about this 10 years ago though, before I met my dear hubby. I might have been devastated. Now I can just laugh and shake my head. |
hahahhahahaha. 
I could not believe it. I found yet another website like myspace and I looked up Juan. I always wonder how he is. I do miss him, although I don’t have the same feelings for him that I used to. I don’t even know him anymore but I consider him and his family part of my family (his Mom and brother came to my wedding). Well I looked him up – he is living in DC with his husband! My friends used to wonder if he was gay, but I never thought so – and I thought I had awesome ‘gaydar’. Love is blind. hehee 
Paczki Day
It’s Paczki Day! 
Mardi Gras – Fat Tuesday, hehehe. Every paczki day I think about my old best friend Johnny. He is half Polish. In Jr High, I always knew it was Packi Day because here comes Johnny down to the bus stop with a big jelly filled powder donut and a huge glob of jelly dripping off his chin. Yep, it’s Paczki Day. That is my funny little memory. 
Ugh! Today I am so achey. Yuck. I have Chronic Fatigue and Fybromyalgia. Days like these, when the weather is changing (it is rainy 
here in MI) make me just ache all over and want to stay in bed. I wish I were at the beach laying in the sun. 
Aunt Marlene
Rest In Peace, Aunt Marlene
My Aunt Marlene died on New Years Eve, 12/31/07. She had many health problems and they finally got the best of her. It seemed to happen so quick though. She went downhill quick. I saw her on her birthday in late November and she seemed fine. I still can’t believe that she is gone.
Aunt Marlene had schizophrenia. She suffered with that for most of her adult life. She was married to an abusive husband. After she had 3 sons, she had a nervous breakdown. She was never the same again. She was in an out of institutions in the 50’s and 60’s and did receive the infamous shock treatment. My grandparents took care of her when she was not hospitalized. After my grandparents died, my Mom took care of Aunt Marlene. Aunt Marlene was a paranoid schizophrenic. She took medication for it but there is no cure. She believed that people stole her body and replaced it with another one. She also believed that the people were still inside of her, spying on her. She was never violent but she was always talking to people that weren’t there. She would often yell at them, sometimes saying "Get out of my crotch!" It was funny. The fact that she was ill was not funny but the stuff she would say and do sometimes was funny. She knew it and would laugh at herself. She tried to make the best out of life.
After she died I was very sad becuase I thought about what a sh!tty life she had. My Mom was having the same thoughts too. Then I started thinking it is not fair for me to call Aunt Marlene’s life sh!tty. She had her problems and the way and time she died was unfortunate. It sucked that she died around Christmas. She loved getting and giving presents. She didn’t get to celebrate that her last year. She did have some good times and was able to have a fairly good life for a person so mentally ill. Living with my Mom, she had a nice room, got to shop (which she loved), and got to be part of our immediate family (her sons had their own problems – not much contact with them). Aunt Marlene was always a big help to my Mom too, she liked to do dishes. Aunt Marlene even went out to the movies sometimes with a lady from Social Services. She has more than a lot of people in her situation. She made the best of her life and I have to tell myself and my Mom that it was not a bad life.
Aunt Marlene has always been an ispiration to me. It is because of her that I have always had an interest in psychology. I want to be a psychologist and I hope to help people like Aunt Marlene. I want to find a way to prevent people from going through the same things she went through. I hope I can live up to that and honor her.
Myspace/Facebok/Spaces
Check out myspace www.myspace.com/jashalyn
So I have had a myspace since 2005 or so. I got it because my friends at work had myspace, also my old friend Melissa had one to keep tabs on her teenagers. I have never done anything with it until recently. My stepson got a myspace so I decided to do something to my page so he won’t feel too embarrassed to have me as a friend. Hehee. Maybe he will anyway though, no matter how I present my page. I am putting a lot of my pics over there though because a lot of family has myspace and it is good to keep your pics in many different places. I learned that after my old computer broke and then Sony Image Station closed.
I also have contacted 2 old friends I lost touch with. It just seems more people are on Myspace than anywhere.
I also have contacted 2 old friends I lost touch with. It just seems more people are on Myspace than anywhere.I also started a facebook page. I did that because my friend Melissa moved over there and to see if I could find this one old friend I have been searching for. Facebook is supposed to be better than myspace. It is not as fun and no one I know is over there, except Melissa. It is boring over there.
I like MSN spaces. I started this page when Spaces came out because it seemed easier than Myspace. I got my page up real quick. No one I know is over here yet though. I wonder if it will ever be as popular as Myspace? I think it is easier to find people on Myspace. The search feature on spaces can be a little confusing.
I want to write more so I am going to try to keep a blog. I always wanted to keep a journal or diary but never could stick with it. Blogging is more fun than keeping a journal – it is more colorful and you can add pics and stuff. I think I will mostly blog over here though, so my stepson won’t read (and be embarrassed by..) what I write, not that he would read it over on myspace. The kid is not big on reading. 
Maybe I will blog on both, deeper thoughts over here so not many (if any) people will see it. Should be fun.
Maybe I will blog on both, deeper thoughts over here so not many (if any) people will see it. Should be fun.
Writing
I need to start writing more. I used to like to write but I just can’t get into it. Well, most of the writing I do is for school and it sucks to have to write a certain way or about subjects you really aren’t that interested in. I am taking an english class right now titled "Reading Pop Culture". It is mildly interesting but you have to read various required articles and texts and write something every week. You have to write about what the professor asks you to write about. It is hard because either I don’t have much to say on the subject or I have something to say but it is not about what the Prof wants us to focus on. So I need to learn to focus and hone my writing abilities. I always want to do too much, include to much in my writing. I also have trouble starting off any paper I write. Introductions and conclusions just kill me. I have to think about how I want to present what I want to say for days. I don’t always have days to let it formulate. So I think if I start writing more it will help me get faster focusing and writing my thoughts.
Jacquelyn's Space 