Jacquelyn's Space

Boy my life is full of question marks these days. I think I have decided on a course of action for continuing my education this upcoming academic year. I have a tentative plan…and I am glad. It is something I can live with for now.  Now I just need to contact my old professors to line up some recommendations and then find the energy to accomplish all that I want and need to…

I’ve been hearing about this book “Fifty Shades of Grey” by E.L. James. Actually before I heard anything about it, I saw the book in the bookstore on Mackinac Island and was intrigued. The synopsis sounded really good — excellent marketing perhaps. At the time I thought, “I’m gonna’ have to read this book.”

Then I overheard two women talking about the book when I was in the Cupola Bar at the Grand Hotel. Again I was intrigued until they began favorably comparing the book to the Twilight series. I was like, “What!?” and had to see if these women were actually grown adults or just late teens…they were grown women, probably older than me. Again, I was like, “What!?” and “Maybe I don’t have to check that book out after all.” See, I started reading the Twilight series and though initially I liked it, it soon grew boring and I began to see through my own romantic fantasy haze to the poor writing — not much plot but for clichés and tired characters. If this Fifty Shades of Grey book was like that but only with sex, why bother?

Still I was curious so I checked the book out on Amazon. It got some really good reviews but the crappy reviews were more convincing. I decided that I still may read the book (might be good for a laugh, an erotic thrill, or maybe some inspiration) but I wasn’t going to waste my money buying the thing.

I happened to be at the Flint Public Library (love that place) yesterday so I decided to see if they had that book. I briefly scanned the New Fiction rack and didn’t see it so I looked it up on the computer…library probably owns more than 10 copies and all were checked out. Wow! This must be some kind of book! This made me really want to get my hands on it. Of course, I knew everyone was talking about it…

Finally today I read a features article in my local paper sort of trashing the novel.

http://blog.mlive.com/flintjournal/aheller/2012/06/the_fifty_shades_of_gray_pheno.html#incart_river_default

It just about took away my desire to read the novel. I am still curious to see what it is all about but I am more pissed that BS like this novel gets published and becomes a bestseller. How disappointing to say the least. What the —- is wrong with people that all they seem interested in reading these days is this kind of immature, trite trash? What is wrong with our culture? Grrr.

Perhaps I am a little jealous…I mean I could have thrown crap like this on paper years ago and been a bestselling author by now…cause Lord knows I have quite the imagination but in my lesser moments (mostly when I was a teen or in my early 20s) — when I was tired and telling myself a little story to put me to sleep, I have come up with stories such as Twilight or as in this novel — TO PUT MYSELF TO SLEEP. HA!! Why didn’t I write that sh…ah, stuff down? Oh, I know, because I fell asleep and sh..stuff was dismissed by my brain as a waste product; because I have higher standards. I don’t know…shoulda’, coulda’, woulda’? Man, I really don’t need to try so hard, I should start writing down any trash and selling it. Okay, okay –I know –I am getting carried away. I shouldn’t judge a book by a few bad reviews…I guess I should probably read it first 🙂

But if it is like Twilight or some teenage girl semi-erotic fantasy then I am going to be really pissed…too many other really good books to spend time with, not to mention that most any semi-literate person could write crap like that BS!

My work week is done…now I just get to goof off.

Not so fast…I wish. I have tons of stuff to do and important decisions to make. But of course I will still goof off.

Grrr, I have to get my house cleaned up — it needs a deep clean. It might be nice to organize a little. Me and my husband must prepare for our son’s open house. After that I have a baby shower to do so this house must be clean.

I need to start writing more, and not just this blog fluff. I have tons of ideas for creative non-fiction and fiction…just need to research and get some words on paper.

I really need to study more, and not just fun stuff like psychological theories, abnormal behavior, counseling strategies, lit analysis and theory, and mindfulness BUT stuff like math, statistics and for the GRE. Ugh!

I really need to read more, but of course it all has to do with the stuff I need (should) study and not stuff I enjoy. 😦

And then there are those important decisions like what I should do with my life besides goof off…

Push some people’s buttons, LOL! I am so mean and rotten. My sister-in-law (has issues, to put it nicely) was pissed at me because she agreed to throw our niece a baby shower and roped me into having the shower at my house — she really put me on the spot, I might add, and at my own graduation party!

I agreed to host the shower because I thought it might be fun and I wanted to do something nice for the daughter of a sister-in-law who has really helped me and my family out. Well little did I know what I was getting in to with the sister-in-law with whom I am planning the shower. First she got pissed because she thinks our niece is ungrateful and is treating her horribly. Truth be told, I don’t know why she expected otherwise because the girl is always ungrateful (she really is immature and spoiled) and does not know how to treat people.

Then my sister-in-law got pissed at me because I refused to let my niece’s behavior bother me (at least bend me out of shape — I’ve been down that road before and it got me nowhere); I also refused to let my niece’s behavior change what I agreed to do as far as the shower is concerned so my sister-in-law is not happy with me at all — she wanted to drop out of it all together and I think wanted me to also; I feel that would just be rotten at this point. Why the hell did she even want to throw a shower for the girl when she knows very well what the girl is like and that her (and my) efforts more than likely will not be appreciated? I don’t know what she was thinking (she says she was thinking about the baby but she should have just bought a nice gift for the baby and called it good). I am just trying to live up to my word and throw a nice shower with as little expense and drama as possible…I guess I am about to be punished for my optimism.

Already my sister-in-law is pissed at me (for no good reason in my opinion). Well, yesterday I went over there to drop off the invitations I printed so she could mail them out. She wanted to mail them out (control issues I think) so that was fine by me. I took my Dad with me over there so I wouldn’t have to talk to this woman about how unhappy she is over my niece, the shower, and my positive attitude — I had been on the phone with her numerous times the week before, and for hours, going round and round the same issues. I keep telling her I just want to get the invites out and then we can hash the rest out after my stepson’s graduation open house (and my nephews too) — those events actually come first and there is 3 weeks between the open houses and the shower…plenty of time to get everything else together since we have it all planned, we just need to buy stuff. My sister-in-law, through all her complaining seems to want to make the shower the center of her world now. Grrr. I do not…I am not about to put this shower before my own stepson’s open house! But I went to my sister-in-law’s house to take care of the invitations. She was talking to me and my Dad about how tore up her house is and how she likes to do projects but lacks the time and money…and that her husband (my husband’s brother) is not handy at all. Well, silly me, before I could really think about how it might piss off my sister-in-law, said, “I guess I got the handy brother…my husband just built a little barn all on his own.” I am so horrible…I had to brag on my husband though…he works so hard and I am very proud of him. I know my sister-in-law hated me in that moment, ha, but it wasn’t an intentional dig…I just like to give my husband the credit he deserves and I really can’t help it that some people are so determined to be unhappy. Oh well, I am sure my sister-in-law will get over it eventually.

I wish a happy day for my Dad, my husband and my brother. So much damn drama in their lives at times and it saddens me that these father’s aren’t appreciated as they should be. I guess that is part of being a father — lots of work for not a lot of recognition or appreciation. Father’s and men should not be valued only for their earning potential!

Happy Father’s Day to all dads 🙂