Jacquelyn's Space

I went to the Corocova Salt Spa in Flint yesterday! https://www.corcovasaltspa.com/

I bought a Groupon for 2 sessions of float therapy, half off. I’ve wanted to try float therapy and I got my chance! I couldn’t believe there is a place in Flint that has it. I thought I’d have to go down to metro Detroit. But I didn’t and Corcova is right by my old place of work. I used to sit and my van and wonder what a salt spa was and what kind of services they offered. Now I know! It is a lovely place. I really love their Tranquility Room. Float therapy was okay…the benefits aren’t a good or long lasting as a massage, unfortunately. Or maybe I am that fucked up. Yeah, I am that fucked up. I’ve been hurting something awful lately. So I think float therapy would be good for meditative purposes and you’d really feel the benefit after repeated, consistent use. That is why I want a pool so bad. But I get to go again, though I probably won’t do it after that…even with a Groupon. It is too expensive for me right now and I think my money is better spent on massage. I do have a Groupon for a massage too. I need to book it. I need one so bad!!

I have been feeling better mentally the last few days. I got a little done on the house over the weekend and little more yesterday. I set up my new computer and our new printer. Still lots more to do but I am feeling more positive and not quite as exhausted (after work). I hope this feeling continues.

We did go up north last week-end to visit my nephew, who lives in Lake Ann, near Traverse City. My sister-in-law, everybody’s favorite Aunt, was in town from Nebraska and she and my other sister-in-law and my grandniece went up there to visit so we did too.

Truth to tell, I wasn’t excited about going up because we had plans to go up Labor Day week-end. Also, Kitty was sick (didn’t have a diagnosis yet, she just wasn’t herself) and I was super worried about her. But we had told everyone we’d be up so up we went.

My nephew Dan is gay and lives with his fiance Derrick. My niece Erika, who is a nurse, got a job in TC and recently moved up near Dan. She started dating a guy up there who has a young son. Then I found out a friend of the family, Rosemary, whom I love, was in the process of moving up to Lake Ann too. She will be working in the same hospital as my niece. Like, everyone is moving up there! I want to too!!

We all, sans Rosemary, went out to dinner and it was good, had fun, ate lots of food. I thought we’d go back to Dan’s and relax but he had plans to meet up with some friends after his fiance got of work that evening. He invited us to come along. We all demurred. I had a headache and just wanted to chill out after the big meal. I wanted to play with my niece, too. This was the niece I had spent some time with when we went to Kentucky last year.

So Dan left but his mom was like, “I think he really wanted you all to go.” So we all started feeling a little guilty…we eventually decided to go except one sister-in-law stayed home with my niece (her granddaughter). I am so glad we went. We met at a restaurant in TC that Dan likes–he really likes their drinks and had been telling me about them earlier in the day. The drinks were good but his friends were even better. Of course they were gay, they were visiting from metro-Detroit area. One of the friends is a drag queen–Miss Bouvee–and performs in Royal Oak. He was so interesting and so much fun. We laughed and laughed, and people watched, and laughed some more. We had the sweetest waiter too. I really would like to do that again sometimes. Really do up Traverse City! One of these days me and my husband will do…we aren’t to far away when we go see my parents up north.

And I really want to go see Miss Bouvee perform. Something to look forward too.

It was fun seeing my sister-in-law from Nebraska too, and we got to talk to her one on one, which is rare. We took a little drive through the haunted Sanitorium up in TC (they made it into shopping and condos) so that was interesting.

Sunday morning we all went to breakfast and we met up with Rosemary. So glad she is back in Michigan–she had been in Texas. She is the sweetest person!! I miss getting the whole family together like the old days…

All and all, it was a fun trip, a good quick trip.

On the way home my husband and I took the scenic drive down M-22 and stopped to see my mother. That was kind of sad and stressful. That and the fact I was worried about my kitty was the only poopy aspect of the trip.

This is the first Labor Day week-end in a long time my husband and I have stayed home. It’s kind of depressing. We had plans to camp at the Straits and walk the Mackinac Bridge this year but the annual bridge walk was cancelled due to the pandemic. It sucks. We could have went and still camped out but chose to just cancel our trip. It is cool this week-end anyway, with gale warnings on the Great Lakes so I suppose it’s for the best.

We had a plan B, to go up to Kaleva, near Manistee, to spend time with my dad and visit my mom in Onekama but we had to cancel that too. My poor baby kitty has been sick and we needed to stay home to give her medicine. Thankfully, Kitty is on the mend but I didn’t want to stress her out by trying to take her on a long car ride up north.

So home it is. My husband has been working in the yard. Apparently our yard needs a ton of work, lol. He always finds a ton of shit to do out there. I know there is plenty to do inside the house. I’ve been trying but the more I try to do the more I realize how much I have to tear apart and organize to make more room, and to just be able to find things when I need them. This is overwhelming and discouraging. I’ve gotten a little done but I am depressed and fatigued so it is slow going. It has not been a fun Labor Day. I would feel better if I knew I could make a ton of progress on this house and get it all organized but Monday evening but it would take a miracle and a true feat of labor to make that happen and I just don’t have it in me.

Thursday I received a text from my buddy Brad that we have a bonus on our paycheck. What!? Totally unexpected. I was hoping for a good amount but wasn’t expecting much. Well it turned out to be $500! Yay. It is in celebration of our particular location turning 5. They had a celebration with a dj and free lunch. I couldn’t really party because, well, work. I did get my boxed lunch and some cookies. Loved the cookies, hated the boxed lunch. I shouldn’t have got the wrap with avocado. It tore my stomach up something awful. You win some, you lose some, I guess.

I am thankful for the bonus. This year I have been fortunate enough to have gotten many bonuses and it has all been wonderful. It has helped me along but not really helped me get ahead. All I have done is get things. All I want to do is shop…buy all kind of things I don’t need right now. Well some things have been to help get the house organized but it is still in major disarray because I haven’t had the energy to deal with it. I just get things then chill out.

So yeah, love the bonuses, appreciate the bonuses, but because of who I am right now, because of my depression, they aren’t really doing me much good. That sucks. I was thinking about that on Thursday…then for some reason, not just because of the bonus, I started feeling really horrible. I had the worst day. Oh yeah, a lot of it had to do with social media posts, racism, and trumphumpers. Yes! That is exactly what it is. So in addition to being in a bad place personally right now, I am battling all this bad stuff going on in our country right now. I have to make some changes…like I may have to avoid social media for a while, take news in small doses, and really concentrate on some of my personal issues. It’s difficult…but I need to realize that I won’t be able to help anyone until I address some of my problems with my health, my house, and my need to acquire things/spend money.

I am overwhelmed and my bonuses haven’t been big enough for me to hire a professional organizer and a small team of house cleaners, let alone the bigger house I wish for (lol). Well, you know, I might be able to hire some help for a short period of time. I should look into it. I wonder how difficult it would be with this pandemic. Oh well, I just need to struggle through and get this shit done myself… Because the minute I think of spending my money to hire someone, I think of all the lovely things I could buy with it. Yikes!

See, I am sick…I am a hoarder. I’ll tell you another thing, I didn’t want to spend my money on dinner last night. I had though about trying out an Italian restaurant in my town that I had never eaten at before though it gets good ratings. I was all set to order take out, gung ho, even. I just couldn’t decide what I wanted because they had some awesome specials…and their desserts are to die for (that’s what I hear). So I start going overboard, thinking I may get lots of food, fuck it. It’s a celebration of my bonus. But then I went the other way, and said fuck it! I don’t want to spend $17 on the lasagna my husband wanted and $18-19 on the dinner special I wanted, and then the money for dessert. Our bill would have been $50-60 by the time I was done. I did’t want to spend my bonus on that because I got my Amazon cart stuffed with all kinds of treasures I think I need. Yeah, so I made dinner at home. I may order from this restaurant today and make my husband pay for. Ha!

The last few days I have been obsessed with order some art prints for my house. What started it was I ordered some Jane Austen prints to inspire me in my writing. Then I really got to looking at all the art at allposters.com. There is so much good stuff there. I love all kind of art–classic(al), Renaissance, folk, Americana, beachy, impressionism….I love it all. I would love to fill my walls with art. I don’t have a lot of wall space when I think about it. Drat you open concept!! I want to fill the main living areas with art and my photographs but I really have to be choosy and cannot hang everything I would like. That kind of leaves out some the classic, Renaissance, and impressionist art I’d like to have….it leaves out a lot of stuff….because I want to utilize my own pictures too.

I have some prints in my living room that have reading as the subject. Anything with a book I love. Oh shit! That reminds me of Mary Cassatt print I’d love to have. I’ll have to look it up… Oh my God! At allposters.com, they have 451 items of Mary Cassatt items!!

Or I could get more book stands and leave some of my art books open to the art I love and want to display. That’s an idea! Then I don’t have to worry about framing stuff. So the living room, which is basically my library, will be decorated with book prints/art.

Well, I have a vision for the kitchen and dining room, and our family room. It will be Michigan themed. I have ordered some really lovely Michigan travel posters I’ve been wanting. Then I can add my own photographs into the mix. The kitchen will be Mackinac focused since my husband already bought be a framed picture of the Grand Hotel and that is hanging in there. There is not a lot of room to hang anything in our family room as it is a three seasons room and is mostly windows. I will have to come up with some creative ideas in there. My husband hung up a picture of the Mackinac Bridge with Labor Day walkers on it that he had in his office at work. I like it but it really isn’t to my taste…but I want to make it work somehow. I could put up some of the pics I took when we walked the bridge. IDK…I will mull that idea over.

The master bedroom will be a lot of flower pictures for now. I may supplement with other subjects later. I may be able to utilize classical and Renaissance art in there if I so choose. It can be eclectic. The master bath will be mainly my own floral photography and butterflies. I did buy one cute print of a little girl getting into the tub. Couldn’t resist.

The guest bath is already done up in a beachy theme. I can add more (and more of my own work) but that isn’t a priority right now.

I have some cute stuff for the laundry room. I found some cute wall decor at the Dollar General that looks nice in there. Then I found a really cute tin sign at allposters.com that I love, as well as a beachy print. Eventually I may put more of my photography in the laundry room too. Not sure, there isn’t a lot of wall space in there. It is more of a hallway and we have cabinets over the washer and dryer and the damn furnace closet on the other side, and lots of cleaning implements hanging along one wall. Not a lot of place for art but I want to have art every where. A feast for the eyes in every room! LOL

The guest rooms are a puzzle. I had planned on do the office with all my scenic photography. But now I have those Jane Austen prints to hang. It will be an eclectic mix. Not sure what I want to do in the other guest room. I plan on painting it coral in color. There are lots of prints I like that have a childhood them…I’d love to that in there. But then again I have so many beautiful photographs that I took. Once I get the rest of the house all done up everywhere else then I will focus on the guest rooms more. I’m sure both will be a mix of stuff. I want lots of art, and lots of my own stuff.

I’d like to dedicate the hallways on each end of the house to family photos. I just need to go through all my pictures and all the family and ancestor pictures I’ve accumulated over the years. I will really have to get choosy on what I want to display. That is going to be difficult. Shoot, I still have to hang some wedding pictures! Then getting frames for everything! Yikes!! I have to put my husband to work making frames.

This is a huge project… and I still have to get my house organized. This is why I am overwhelmed. So many things I want but it all takes work. All I really want to do is to chill in my lovely, organized home, will all kinds of books and art, and relax and read.

Oh well, this is me visualizing, conceptualizing, and formulating my plan.

I am so overwhelmed. I am trying to get my house organized…well, I don’t know if trying is really the correct word. I want to have an organized house, with everything in it’s place but I don’t have the energy to do it. I also don’t seem to have the attention span and tenacity to get it done. I have too much stuff. Too much!! But I don’t want to part with my stuff, I just want it organized so I can use it. I need more room but I know that’s not going to happen any time soon. Plus I keep getting more stuff; I always want more…books, games, things!! I have too many clothes too, as I have already mentioned. And then I buy stuff to store my stuff in so now I have too many storage containers and not enough closet space or room for it. I tried a storage space once, that ended in disaster (I’ll have to tell that story another time). I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve been trying to do stuff little by little but more and more I’ve been putting it off til tomorrow because I have been so fucking tired… and overwhelmed. And once I started organizing one area or item set, I soon have to move on to something else or move other items to make room for what I am working on…it is a big mess. Then I get even more tired and cannot hold myself upright–my knees and legs hurt and get weak, as does my back. Ugh.