Tootie Boo Boo

I had a weird dream last night but what stands out the most is the fact that my old kitty, Tootie Boo Boo who has been dead for almost 4 years, was in the dream. I was holding her and petting her. I could actually feel her presence, I could actually smell her. Tootie always smelled like a store bought kitty – like new clothes from Hudsons (Hudsons = Macys). I just can’t get over how strongly I felt her presence. I actually think it was her ‘visiting’ me because try as I might I cannot re-create that feeling of her presence now. I wonder what the dream means…

Tootie Boo Boo – she was a stray cat that basically adopted my family. There was a rumour in the neighborhood that her name was Melissa and she belonged to a woman on our block who was dying of cancer. The woman’s husband did not take care of the cat while she was dying so there she was. I am not sure about that story and I didn’t investigate at the time. All I knew was there was a nice black cat hanging out by our house and she would wait for me to come home from work with scraps of food. I always did have a soft spot for cats. I convinced my Mom to take her in and that was the beginning of Tootie Boo Boo.

We realized that she was pregnant not long after we took her in. We also discovered that she may have been abused – when we bathed her she was full of oil and had what looked like cigarettes burns on her body. I named her Tootie because she had bad gas due to the pregnancy, LOL. She had her 4 kittens on my bed. Later she acquired the name Boo Boo – one day I was playing a sort of peek-a-boo game with her. I popped out around the couch at her and said “BOO” and she jumped about a foot high, I kid you not. It was a funny sight! Her eyes got wide and she jumped on all fours about a foot high! It looked like a cartoon. So after that I started calling her Boo Boo. She was quite a little character, my Boo Boo.

I loved that kitty. We had her about 16- 17 years. My Mom and I had to put her to sleep in September 2006 because she was sick – liver problems I believe. I thought she was going to die the year before but we were blessed one more year with Boo Boo before her illness could not be controlled. The thing I remember about the illness the year prior to her death is when I took her to her vet. It was on a Monday morning after being at the emergency animal hospital all week-end – her vet came in after looking at her labs and said rather dramatically (and brusquely), “She’s gonna’ die!” I was stunned but I turned and looked at Boo Boo as she turned toward me and looked at me with her wide, green eyes – I got the feeling we were both thinking the same thing, “Thanks for the info Mr. Obvious…we’re all gonna die, aren’t we?’ There was a connection between me and Boo Boo, I felt it. I started laughing and my sad mood lightened for a moment. I can’t explain it, just like I can’t explain the dream or why I feel the need to write about this today.

Published in: on July 19, 2010 at 8:19 am  Leave a Comment  

Tall Ships

The tall ships were in Bay City, Michigan this past week-end. Part of the highlights of living in the Great Lakes Region – a great interest in boats, sailing, etc. Bay City has a big tall ship festival every year and I always want to go but never seem to make it. I didn’t make it this year either darn it! I was talking with some friends who went and they said it was interesting but a lot of the ships were metal and not wood like the real old time ships would have been. They were somewhat disappointed by that and the fact that the festival closed early each day. I still would like to go and I will have to remember to keep my eyes open for the festival next year and plan ahead.
 
Talking about the festival got my memory working and I remembered when my husband and I (along with my stepson and parents) actually sailed on the tall ship Manitou in Grand Traverse Bay a few years back. The company is called the the Traverse Tall Ship Co. and they do just 2 hour trips to 2-3 day excursions. I really want to go sailing again and it would be great to sailing on the Great Lakes for a few days.
 
 
There are some other places in Michigan that have tall ship festivals also. A long, long, time ago my husband, stepson and I went to one in Detroit – with ships on both sides of the Detroit River. This had to be pre- 9/11 because we went over to Canada without a problem. I loved looking at all the replicas of old time sailing ships. I am not sure if Detroit does this every year or not – I have not seen or heard anything about it since but it was an awesome festival. I know Chicago has a festival also. I would love to check that out one day. I love history and I love the Great Lakes so pursuing this interest in tall ships would be fun and interesting.
 
 
Pictures of us on the Manitou
 
 
 
Ooooh I found some links:
 
 
 
 
 
Published in: on July 19, 2010 at 12:17 am  Leave a Comment  

My Wonderful Husband

I asked my husband what I should write about and he said "Write about how wonderful I am." LOL …typical male always thinking about how wonderful they are or a certain part of their anatomy is.
 
I was thinking about how wonderful he is though, especially to put up with me and all my eccentricities. He is a hard working man, and pretty tough in his way. I would say mentally tough because he has had to put up with a lot of BS and still keeps on going. He is very loving and thoughtful too. Also very goofy, which is important because I need to laugh on a daily basis.  I am lucky to have him – getting together with him was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I like to think that I am the best thing that ever happened to him too. LOL  
 
This about sums it up; my husband is so good at balancing all this:
 
"Love me without fear, trust me without wondering, love me without restrictions, want me without demand, accept me the way I am."
Published in: on July 17, 2010 at 10:43 pm  Leave a Comment  

Blogging is a funny thing.

So I want to get this blog thing going on and I want to write about more than just myself, haha. I really must be forgiven for blogging so much about ME – I learned about blogging from a self-centered gay guy. Seriously though, I just have a lot of ‘me’ stuff I want to explore and get out there right now. Better to get it done now (while I am in school and being forced to be so ‘self’ focused) so later I can concentrate on other things. Plus I feel like I am only qualified to write about my experiences and I want to keep a record of my memories – blogging (or at least publishing/saving it online in one place) is a good way to do that, in my opinion.

 
I just feel the more I write the easier I will find it to express myself in other areas. I want to try to achieve a balance though. For every negative thing I write, write something positive; for every ‘ME’ thing I write, bring in an outside perspective or write something totally not about me. This is going to be challenging.
 

I do have some qualms about who may read my little meanderings of the mind (LOL) but for the most part I like to live my life like an open book and if people can’t take it, can’t accept me the way I am then tant pis! Too bad for them and too bad for me.

 
 
Published in: on July 17, 2010 at 2:00 am  Leave a Comment  

So I’m just sayin….

Well I have to get this out there. I dislike very few people, really….once I am able to talk to a person on a one on one basis I am able to find some common ground with them. The only reason I ever feel dislike (or some would say animosity) towards a person is when they hurt someone I love repeatedly and/or also constantly lie and manipulate just to get their way in things. That is wrong and that type of person can never be trusted, you know what I mean? Jealousy never enters in my like or dislike for a person. I am usually able to overcome my own foibles in order to foster good relationships with people. However there are a few people that I do dislike for the reasons I mentioned above – they have tried to hurt someone I love (more than once), they have lied (more than once), and they manipulate situations solely for their own benefit not much thinking of others.
 
My husband’s ex-wife is such a one as this. She once told her son I disliked her or was mad at her because I was ‘just jealous’ of her (because I wanted what she had – him!). No, I simply dislike her becuase of the way she treats my husband, the father of her child. I dislike her because by treating the father of her child badly, in addition to telling numerous lies to Lord only knows how many people about my husband and me too, plus saying wholly inappropriate things about me and my husband to her child (our child), she does her own son (children) a great disservice. Truly. This disturbs me. Every time she lies and I find out about it, or she says something bad to my stepson about us it just brings up all the past ills and wrongs she has done. This fosters a great dislike in me for her and makes me want to combat this any way I can. The only way I know how is to write out what I am feeling. So today I am just sayin…just putting it out there – I never dislike someone simply because of jealousy or my own judgment/prejudices. I form dislikes of people based on my experiences with them and their own bad, bad behavior.
 
To add to my little explanation of my dislike for this woman: not only has she treated my husband badly, lied to us and about us, etc. she always seems to be trying to do whatever she can to take parenting time away from us. It seems every time summer rolls around she is fighting us about spending any time (over and above the every other week-end) with our stepson in the summer. That is what spurred this little blog – another instance of her ‘screwing’ us out of time for no good reason. There is not much I can do about it but like I said it helps for me to write (and vent through writing). It is also my hope that the more I write about my experiences as a stepmother, the more I write out the story of my husbands dealings with his ex perhaps I will find a way to help someone else who is experiencing the same problems.
 
So, Im just sayin’ I have reasons for my dislike and a reason for writing about it. She has tried to blame my dislike on something within me (deflect the blame away from her – typical I guess) but my dislike for her lies solely in her behavior and treatment of people I love and care about. If I have to write out all instances I can remember of what made me dislike her I will because what she has done, what she does, is wrong, and hurtful and I am not going to let her sweep it under the rug, forget about it, pretend it never happened or try to blame it on someone else. I am the type of person who believes that by calling a person out on their bad behavior just might eventually bring about a change or at least let the offender know that what they are doing is unacceptable and is not going to be taken lying down. Plus things that she has done and does often hurts her own son and that is something I cannot forgive or forget.
 
Published in: on July 16, 2010 at 10:24 am  Leave a Comment  

Internship/School/Work

Yay! I am so happy. I have to do an internship for my Bachelor of Science in Psychology degree. I have it all lined up already for the fall. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be and it seems like it is going to be really interesting. I will be working in a clinic. The doctor I will be working with has received high marks and praise from students that have worked with him in the past and hopefully I will learn much. I am excited!
 
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I took a class this spring. I usually don’t take classes in spring and summer but I thought it might be my only opportunity to take this social psychology class. It was all online. I am not fond of online classes because it just seems like you don’t get as much out of it as in the classroom. It turned out all right though – I did learn a lot and I found that I love social psych. I ended up with an A- in the class even though I was trying to work 2 jobs, and was super stressed out.  I am glad I did it! Now I just need through the next year. It is going to be tough because I still want to work on my second degree in addition to doing an internship or two (I really want to do another internship at a school or something; I have an idea in mind but I don’t want to write about it just yet), and everything else I do on top of it. I am working on better time management skills to say the least.
 
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More good news. I filled in for my boss at the Census while she was away for a week (sudden family emergency) and her supervisors appreciated it. I received many thanks and "Good work!" compliments. It is nice to be appreciated for a change, LOL. My boss at McDonalds is never happy with anyone’s work unless they are devoting their life to the place and that I refuse to do so therefore she does not have much use for me. So I am feeling pretty damn proud of myself today, I am enjoying the recognition.  Also, I found out I may have more work with the Census even though my initial job is winding down. I hope so because I really do enjoy the work. I have met so many lovely people working for the Census, not to mention being able to get out and see different parts of the county I live in. 
 
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I haven’t had time to keep a blog like I would like to. I really want to write more, and need to make an effort. Same old story  Keeping a blog does help my writing and helps me to keep ideas flowing – well it helps me remember ideas and also what I was feeling, thinking at any given tiime. It is overwhelming at times though because I have so many thoughts running through my head, so many things I want to write about but not enough time in the day. It really stinks because like I touched on, writing does clarify a lot of things for me and it helps me relieve the anxiety and stress I sometimes feel. I really just need to devote a certain time everyday to writing and stick to it. I will be taking a couple of writing classes in the fall so getting the habit now would be a good thing. I think at this point I need to make a vow to myself to actively work on my writing skills.
 
 
Published in: on July 12, 2010 at 4:34 pm  Leave a Comment  
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