Another year over, another year beginning. Wow. I am 54 years old. Hard to believe all that time has passed by. I have nothing earth-shattering to share, nothing enlightening to write about. Just wanted to mark the day. Why is it when I am driving along all day, taking my participants to their appointments, I can think so many great things to write about but now I got nothing. Maybe I feel put on the spot now which is weird. I kind of feel a push to make resolutions but I hate to do that because I don’t often keep them, or if I do, I move on them at a snails pace. It’s so weird, how can I be both happy with my life and dissatisfied? I’d be restless if I had the energy to be so.
I have so much to be thankful for and I have written about these things/people: my husband, my family, my relationship with my stepson and daughter-in-law, being a grandmother, my baby doll, my kitty, my friends, my home, my job. I am thankful for all of that. I suppose I am dissatisfied with myself; my health, my lack of energy and motivation. I have been working on it but it goes so slow…and it it so difficult. Working on your health and body is not easy, nor very fun. Not usually anyway. I have found some joy in physical therapy. I started physical therapy to make my legs stronger in order to help my knees and my whole physicality. I am getting stronger. I am even starting to feel a smidge better, an slight bit more energized. Another thing to be thankful. When I really drill down into my feelings of dissatisfaction it seems to be about the pace of improvement and the fact that it is so easy for me to lose sight of my goals, to lose focus. There is always so much going on, so much that seems to demand my attention and so little time and energy for me to do the things I need and want to do. These are the things I think about on my birthday. It’s never a joyful celebration for me, ha ha. Maybe next year.
***AI cracks me up. I like to generate images for my posts because it’s interesting but they kept giving my old ladies!!!
Jacquelyn's Space 