I have been so emotional today. I am not sure why. Maybe I’m ovulating?
I was driving and crying today. I saw a funeral procession and I started thinking about a client that died recently. Well, we generally call them participants (participant in the program) but that is too long to type/write all the time. I saw the funeral procession and thought about this client that died about 2 weeks ago. He was one of my favorites and I had known him for over 3 years at least. I went to pick him up for an appointment and I ended up calling the ambulance for him. He died at the hospital a couple of hours later. That sudden and unexpectedly. When the ambulance crew took him away, I truly thought I’d see him again but he died. It took me a few days to process it and I am still grieving. The procession reminded me of his death because I couldn’t make it to his funeral, it was a small, hurried affair. He didn’t have too much family, I guess. So sometimes I drive and cry. I was thinking about him and I had to wipe my tears away because they were clouding up my eyes and I became aware of the song that was playing on the radio. The lyrics at that moment of awareness:
“Save your tears for another day. Save your tears for another day.”
I tried.
I am so emotional lately. I know this client wouldn’t want me crying over him but his death really affected me. Yeah, he had health problems but he had hopes and dreams too. He was fighting his problems. He was strong, or so I thought. Maybe he put on a good show. Probably a little bit of that. But he’s all gone now.
***
My husband and I went out to eat after work. He’s been teaching quite a bit lately after the days that he teaches, we go to our favorite Mexican restaurant around the corner from where he works. We were leaving and I heard a small groan behind us. I look back and an old man had fallen in the parking lot. Oh no. Me and my husband rush over (well my husband did more rushing than me, he is quicker). The poor guy couldn’t get up on his own and he had lost his glasses. His wife or whoever was driving him was getting out of the car to see what had happened. “Did he fall?” Yikes! Thankfully we were able to get the man his glasses, get him back on his feet and he said he was okay. He was kind of embarrassed, saying, “I know why I fell, I fell because I am an old man. I am 90 years old!” Aww. It’s okay. We all take a tumble now and again and, as I always say, getting older ain’t for sissies. I was so glad we were there to help him and I hope he was truly okay.
But of course, this made me emotional again, and think about things, like my parents getting older and living alone, and I drove home with tears in my eyes. It is getting harder and harder to dash the tears away.
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