I hate to write this. I hate to feel like this. I hate myself right now. Okay. It helped to write that because it made me realize that hate is too strong of a word. That is too strong of a sentence. I guess I am so depressed right now that feeling anything with any sort of strength is impossible for me. I just can’t stand myself. I am in self-sabotaging mode. Well, as much as I will let myself fall into that. I just lay around when I am not working. If I get up to do anything it is to buy things online and I really don’t have to get up to do that.
I want to write. I want to write about the good in my life but I tend to dwell on the bad. This awful feeling of being unmotivated and uninspired. I am looking for inspiration, thus the shopping. I know I don’t need anymore crap though. I just need to get busy and do things, write, live life, etc. I can’t though because I am stuck in this black hole. It sucks away all my positive thoughts, creativity, and imagination. This post is my way of reaching out of it, of trying to break through.
I have to attempt this every day. As meager as it may seem, and as boring and/or short.
Jacquelyn's Space 
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