I was thinking. I don’t want to be the hero. I am not superwoman. I cannot do everything. Unfortunately, I cannot do everything. That is a hard reality to face but it is the reality. I am able to face it but to get others to realize it is the hard part. To get others used to the answer no and to get them to accept it. I just think you set yourself up for failure when you try to be the hero all the time. I know I did, and I know there are ways that I failed. And it hurt. It still hurts. I want to be self-sacrificing but I cannot sacrifice everything I want to the needs of others. I will not sacrifice everything that I am, everything that I want and need, for others. Not at this point. I simply don’t have the resources–energy- wise nor financially. As a matter of fact, the bit that I have done to help people in my family has put me behind. And it was never enough. That is the kicker– it is never enough. So it was okay helping for a time but now I have to move on and do the things that I want to do with my life, then perhaps later I will be in a better place to help again, or help others outside of my family.
That’s where I am at now. I don’t want to be the hero. I am not superwoman and I refuse to be forced into that role. I just want to be me. Selfishly, I just want to be.
Jacquelyn's Space 
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