Ugh. Sigh.
Didn’t get to sleep early last night. I think I finally passed out between 2-3am. My youngest nephew couldn’t or wouldn’t sleep either– he was up and down and at some point in the night I think he snuck in my room and grabbed his Kindle. I found it between his mattress and the wall today when I made his bed.
Even though I went to bed late, I was up shortly after 5am and couldn’t go back to sleep. I called off from work again. No desire to waste time at that place. Then I watched a movie before I had to get the kids off to school…something calming. I watched Somewhere in Time and it made want to go to Mackinac Island. The movie ended right on time for me to get the boys up for school shortly before 7:30am.
I got the kids off to school fairly easily. My youngest nephew was obviously tired, and he tried to give me a little trouble but it was not a bad morning. I emailed his teacher once he got on the bus; I let her know he might be a bit tired and crabby today. He had a rough day on Friday too (I could tell he was getting tired of school) and the teacher had called me. I also had to email the teacher for my oldest nephew because he has been ‘forgetting’ his homework. I need to know what kind of homework he has, what he forgot on Friday.
I had to take a nap. I slept for about 4 hours. Then I was up. Tried to think about homework. Ugh.
I did some laundry.
I did some dishes.
I had lunch.
Checked my email. My middle nephew had an incident at school. It’s okay, his teacher dealt with it but he wanted to let me know. It is kind of a big deal and I will have to let my nephew’s counselor know about it. I will talk to all the teachers tomorrow night at parent-teacher conferences.
Then I tried to think about getting some homework done again. Sigh.
I took a shower. Showers are a luxury these days. And I can rarely get one that is not impinged upon, someway.
Checked my voice mail. My youngest nephew was either refusing to get on the bus and/or was acting up on the bus. I tried to call the school– didn’t get anyone. Since I hadn’t heard from her, I called my oldest nephew’s teacher to talk about the homework issue. Yeah, the kid is forgetting his homework– she isn’t sure if it is an ADHD problem or just him being difficult. I think it is both. He needs medication. Another problem for another day. At least I got the psychological evaluation done already.
Then I tried to call the school again. The secretary transferred me straight to the principle. Yep, youngest nephew refused to put on his seat belt and was kicking things. He is just this close to getting kicked off the bus. I will be pissed if his little ass gets kicked off because I do not want to pick him up from school. I absolutely do not.
Then my youngest nephew’s teacher called me. She said my email of the morning helped deal with him. He was tired– they let him nap a bit. It was good to talk to her– both teachers actually. They say we just have to keep on keeping on; that I’m doing a good job, that I am in a hard spot. Sigh.
Emailed the case worker about the boys’ issues. Of course he is no help. He just wants more from me. More, more, more. I get little in return– no support, no services, I wait on money even though they act like they are paying me, that I am their fucking employee. Which I am not. But I have to dance to their tune. I tell you what, foster care and child protective services is fucked up in this state. Probably the whole country.Now I know why they don’t have enough foster parents. I know.
The boys come home. Youngest straight to the naughty chair. Middle child– have to talk to him later…poor middle child, but it is a sensitive issue, his. Oldest played dumb about his homework– typical. No Kindle for any of them tonight. Oddly enough they were happy to play outside.
Talked to my brother about his boys and the future. He tries to understand but he doesn’t, not completely. There are things he just doesn’t get and that is why we are in the situation we are in. He is more a part of the problem than the solution. Of course he wants me to take care of his boys even if/when he gets them back. I will do it but only under certain circumstances. I need money– I don’t want to wait on money. I waited about 2 months for this last payment. Kids can’t wait– they need things. Not to mention I can’t work full-time and pay my bills because I have to take care of the boys– counseling appointments, pick them up from school when they have issues, etc. Nobody else wants to care for them– their other aunt and grandparents are MIA. They would not do well in daycare. Plus I cannot count on the money to being there in order to pay a daycare or babysitter. Nobody wants to wait on money like I have to. I can’t get a break, everybody always wants more, more, more. Why can’t I do more for them? Why can’t I make all the damn sacrifices for their poor choices and stupidity? (And I am not just talking about my brother here.) Sure. I was born to be a door mat.
Fed them left over pizza– two pieces each. They had snacks leftover from school and apples. Of course that is not enough for them for dinner. I have to make dinner. Screw it. McDonald’s will have to do because I don’t feel like dealing with it. I was hoping my stepson and husband would pick up the McD’s. Of course they are running late. Blah, blah, blah.
I really, really want to get these boys in bed.
Homework? Ugh. Sigh.
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The highlight of my day thus far– watching Somewhere in Time, memories of Mackinac, and realizing I have a $400 credit at the Grand Hotel. My husband and I will be going sometime this summer.
Jacquelyn's Space 