Jacquelyn's Space

Depression among the indigent:

A Cure for Poverty

Andrew Solomon: Depression, the secret we share

“Distaste for the idea of treatment…” prohibits us from living life to the fullest, prohibits us from helping people.

“There is this false moral imperative that seems to be all around us that treatment of depression, the medications and such are an artifice and that it’s not natural.”

“The opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality, and it was vitality that seemed to seep away from me in that moment.”

So true. Exactly what I have been experiencing and it is terrible.

As seen on Facebook:

The grave of Elijah Jefferson Bond is marked by a Ouija Board headstone at Greenmount Cemetery in Maryland. Elijah Bond was best known for filing the first US patent for the Ouija Board. Elijah Bond died in 1921 and was anonymously buried in his family’s plot. Robert Murch, America’s foremost Ouija historian, located the ambiguous grave and erected the Ouija-themed headstone in 2008.

This cracks me up. I want to be cremated when I die but if I didn’t, if I were to be buried, this is the headstone I’d want. LOL.

Still need to get all my paper writing done. I really don’t want to. I am not inspired to write about the books I have been reading. It is sad and frustrating. I really need to get something done today. Time to quit stalling. I have  already done dishes and some laundry.

Here is the stuff I need to accomplish:

Dishes (never-ending)

Laundry (never-ending)

Adolescent Lit paper (4-6 pages)

Irish Lit paper, The Commitments (3-4 pages)

Finish reading The Infinities

Irish Lit paper, The Infinities (3-4 pages)

Irish Lit paper, The Blackwater Lightship (3-4  pages)

American Novel paper (2-6 pages) (past due)

American Novel report, Erasure (due whenever)

Irish Lit presentation, Emma Donoghue (due April 8)

Adolescent Lit article critique (due April 16)

Adolescent Lit author study (due April 16)

If I get all this done by March 28–31, all I’ll have to work on for April is two big papers—one for Irish Lit and one for The American Novel—and maybe some small papers for Irish Lit.

**

So after I wrote this I changed the trash. Picked up my bedroom a little. Debated on taking a shower…took a shower, sang in the shower. Made lunch for the boys. Now I really need to get down to business…

This stuff, this to do list, is making me so irritated. I must eliminate it.

**

More laundry, more dishes, more homework not done.

Went to work today. I felt I probably wouldn’t get away with calling off again. I only work 2 days a week.

It was a good day, kind of busy. I like busy. I am surprised at how much I like my job (McDonald’s) once I get there. I can only do about 3-4 hours until I feel on edge. Eventually I’ll need to work more hours and I am not sure if I can do it– it wears me out in addition to putting me on edge. I don’t know what else to do– I don’t really want an office job. I don’t like being glued to a desk either.

I really need to start looking for a new job though. Well, once I get rid of the boys.

And then there is this writing thing. I really need to do something with that. I need to send out some of my stuff. I think I will make that a goal for May.

Tired.

Still no homework done. At least not any papers. I did get some posts for my online class done.

Too many meetings.

Stupid meeting yesterday, what they call a Family Team Meeting about whether or not the boys will be going back to their dad. Had to drive to Millington (40-50 miles away) for that. That is very stupid. Had to listen to the same old, same old shit. We’ll see how it goes. Court is less than a month away.

Then I jetted away from Millington on down to Grand Blanc (40-50 miles) for an appointment with my doctor. I have an earache and I cannot abide an earache. Spent about an hour and half there, mostly waiting. This is why I hate the doctors. At least I got some ear drops.

After that I decided to take some time for myself in between errands (stopping by work, going the bank, a little grocery shopping). I went and had Chinese food and read The Song of Solomon.

Too bad I had to get home.

Listened to the messages when I got home. Apparently my middle nephew had been sick at school. They wanted me to pick him up but I was all the way up in Millington at the time. I would have been pissed at any rate– the kid was fine. When I got home he was sitting home, totally FINE, playing his video games.

Next day, didn’t want to get out of bed.

Had to– I had a counseling appointment. It was nice to unload.

Class in the evening. The dumb case worker shows up before I leave for class, as I was trying to finish my reading. Since the beginning of the year I told him I have class on Thursday so it is not the day to come out to talk to the boys. Of course nobody listens to me. I was not happy. I let him know of my displeasure, then felt bad.

Class was good…

Went to the library afterword–that is where I got a little bit of something done. Left a little after 11pm when my laptop died.

Came home–kids still up, no school tomorrow. Booooo!