Jacquelyn's Space

Yay! I am officially on break! I also took the week off work. Not that it matters much– I only work 2 days a week. But I can relax a bit (in-between the appointments I have scheduled…GRR) and maybe catch up on my reading, homework, and housework. Maybe I’ll even get to write for fun…just a bit.

I have been in a funk lately– what else is new? I am burnt out on school. I don’t want to write the papers for the classes I am taking…too boring. I don’t think I am in the right program…I either want a MFA (so I can concentrate on my creative writing) or I want to start working on an advanced degree in social work or psychology so I can be a mental health counselor.

I suppose I am sick of my life, my goals, being in limbo. I want to be on a clearer path toward my goals…thus far I have been on the scenic route, along with a few detours.

Reminds me of old times when I had a blog on MSN Spaces. It wasn’t anything I advertised much but I got a lot of foreign visitors (and comments from them– made a few internet friends) and that was kind of cool. Well, according to MSN stats somebody was checking my blog every day Monday through Thursday, morning, noon, and around 3pm. MSN stats would just tell you how many times your page had been visited and at what times, but not where the visitors were from. Curious as to who was checking my page 3 times a day like clockwork, I found a way to put an IP tracker on by blog. I kinda had an idea who was checking my page but I didn’t want to just assume. Intuition is all well and good (and I have awesome intuition) but it is always nice to have solid proof.

Lo and behold the person regularly checking my blog had an IP from the State of Michigan, indicating that it was someone on a state computer…someone who worked for the state. Who did I know that worked for the state? My husband’s ex-wife! Ha ha haa!

I also knew, because my stepson let it slip, that his mom worked Monday through Thursday. To top it all off, she would check my page on the week-end too. I figured out how to get her IP address from an email she sent my husband so I was able to compare IP’s. Isn’t technology great? Almost as great as intuition.

**

Funny, I let this person check my page for a few months knowing full well who it was. I didn’t let it be known that I knew who it was until she started acting like an asshole about something and trying to make out like her shit doesn’t stink.

https://jashalyn.wordpress.com/2008/12/17/so-i-wonder/

After that she didn’t check my page as much any more. LOL.

To get in shape by next winter so I can cross-country ski and snowshoe Mackinac Island.

I have been seeing all the winter pictures of the Island this year and I really want to go there in the winter. I want to admire the beauty of the Island in winter first hand…and up close and personal. I have to get in shape to do it!

So that is my goal.

I only hope next winter is as spectacular as this one has been.

I haven’t seen this picture before today. My cousin posted it on FB today and said, “look at grandma Shay!!! Looks just like u:-)”.

My husband saw the post first and asked, “Which one is your grandma?”

I looked, realized I never saw the picture before but I recognized my Aunt Rose right away (she is in the middle, back). Then I recognized me…er, my grandma. She is the one holding the doll. I do look just like her! Yay!

It is so odd.

Then I got a little sad. My grandma passed away suddenly in the early 90’s. I never really got a chance to know her because I was shy and a bit scared of her because she was quiet and  a bit introverted…kinda like me. My dad is like that too.

Weird…how these things pass down.

Just a short little observation on power.

Everybody likes to have power to some degree. There is something to be said for having agency over your own life. I get it. I want it, I need it. But when people start wanting, needing inordinate power and control over others, especially to make themselves feel good or whole or whatever…well, that is when things get troublesome. That is when people turn asshole-ish.

It is a trait I cannot abide in people. It puts my back up…and I hate to say turns me into as asshole sometimes because I generally work against people who are power-hungry. Don’t even get me started on abuse of power.

I have also found that this trait– this love, this need for power seems to be hereditary…as is the need to work against it.

Interesting.