Jacquelyn's Space

Grrr. I hate it when I feel sorry for myself (there are times that I become aware that I am indeed feeling sorry for myself). But if I don’t who will feel sorry for me? One could even argue that my blog is all about feeling sorry for myself. Ha…

No no, what’s worse is when people try to make others feel sorry for them over lies and bullshit. Now that is sick. I can understand, and more often than not empathize with people who are going through real trauma in their lives– God knows I have been through some stuff–but I don’t usually feel sorry for people who thrive on drama and create their own trauma just so they can get attention or want people to feel sorry for them. Somehow they get off on the attention or their own poor me story.

Like I said, I have been through some stuff and I am not shy about telling people about it. I don’t tell people about my ‘stuff’ so they can feel sorry for me, I tell them because I am seeking understanding, enlightenment (because often other people have been through the same thing or a situation that is close to it), or I may even be seeking help. But it is wrong –and I know this happens (I have witnessed it in action, noticed it in people I do not admire)–when people lie about situations or make up problems just to elicit sympathy (and more) from others. That is seriously fucked up. Well, perhaps some people should be pardoned because it is not that they are truly lying it is just that their perception is way off or they have been in that “feel-sorry-for-me” pattern for way too long to even know what they are doing any more. I suppose I should feel sorry for them because most people like this are mentally ill to some degree. But I also hate being an enabler 🙂

I hate dust.

I have to buy a respirator; well I have to buy one if I want my house to be truly clean. Ugh! My husband and I started cleaning our room yesterday and moved some furniture around. The amount of dust everywhere was awful. It made me sick…literally sick. I couldn’t breathe and had to break out my inhaler about 3 times. I went to work in the evening and still couldn’t breathe which made it hard to move. When I got home I loaded up on the meds and finally had some easiness in my chest but my nose is totally stopped up which makes for difficult sleeping. Now I am awake after only about 4 hours of sleep, still unable to breathe through my nose, which will make for a difficult day.

I always get sick when I dust thus I don’t dust if I can help it. The dust piles up because no one else around here cares about dusting the house and unfortunately I cannot afford a maid. I want a clean house– no one around here cares about that either. Not to mention the fact that what my husband and stepson consider clean is not truly clean. If I want a clean house, a dusted house, not one without dust kitties under the bed and shelves on which you can write notes in the dust with your finger, I have to be able to clean it myself. But I do not want to get terribly sick every time I clean. Sick of being sick. But I want things, one of those things being a lovely clean house, and I have to think of ways to bring what I want into reality. So I need a respirator…or a maid…or both.

WTG UM-Flint! My school was selected as one of the best branch campuses in the country. I love my school and I have always thought it was the best 🙂

http://www.umflint.edu/news/university-news/university-of-michigan-flint-selected-as-one-of-the-best-branch-campuses/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/10/satellite-campus-branch-campus_n_2449394.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003&ir=Detroit#slide=1967072

I wonder when I will ever get over thinking of the year in terms of semesters. Probably not for a long time yet, ha.

I am so excited to start a new semester. I have a Shakespeare class with my favorite professor and a Literature theory class I have been dying to take with another good professor. Believe it or not but Lit theory actually helps me with analyzing people; there are many connections between Lit theory and psychology.

I really need to bring my A game this semester because last semester sucked. I was so wore out and stressed. I am still wore out and depressed (my fibromyalgia is kicking my ass) but I am working on coming out of all that. I intend to be successful.

Of course, since it is a new year I have tons of resolutions of which getting out the funk I have been in is one, and not letting stuff get to me so terribly is another. And I want to write more, as usual. I have been writing some but not so much in my blogs. I need to write lots more…I have tons of projects in mind, just need time and energy.