Jacquelyn's Space

It is time to get into the Christmas spirit.

Bah, humbug!

I am going to try. Tomorrow my husband and I are going to Holiday Nights at Greenfield Village in Dearborn, Michigan (part of Henry Ford Museum).  It is an old-timey Christmas celebration and I love going. I always cry though because I think about how I used to love Christmas– it brings back all those old feelings and memories of Christmas past and those who have passed on like my Grandparents (my maternal Grandma especially) and my Aunts and Uncles. Maybe I shouldn’t go but I love the history and feeling I am going back in time.

I need to find some joy. This time of year just sucks for me, and now especially since everything that has happened over the past year. I feel like I am sliding into the worst depression. Who am I kidding– I am already depressed but I feel like it is only going to get worse before it gets better. I really don’t want to get any worse so I need to find some positive things to dwell on.

Okay, so one positive is I am done with my Christmas shopping– I did it all online which was lovely and relaxing. I have some really great gifts for my husband and I am excited to give them to him. I hope what I bought fits (shades of Aunt Marlene) and I hope he likes the other stuff I bought him.

Gah! Now I just have to wrap the stuff.

Ha! My Aunt Marlene would always buy us clothes for Christmas but because she was so anxious about what she bought, if it would fit, she would always tell us before Christmas, totally ruining the surprise. It was cute.

Let me see, what is another positive? There are lots of Christmas celebrations coming up. My Great Aunt Rose is hosting a Christmas party for my Dad’s side of the family. I didn’t go to my family Christmas last year because I was too stressed out from school and still working on papers. I am going this year for sure; I can’t wait to see my Aunts and Uncles. My Aunt Rose is having the party at Maggiano’s in Troy so no one has to bring anything for food. We all just get to relax. It should be nice.

We did already attend a Christmas party for my husband’s work. It was at Blackstone’s in Flint. It was lovely and the food was good– free dinner, yay! I got to see my two nieces and their dad (my brother-in-law). It is sad because my brother-in-law and sister-in-law are getting a divorce and it is causing a rift in their immediate family and also in my husband’s family at large. I hadn’t seen my nieces in while. I adore my youngest niece, Brianna. She made the party fun for me. It was also fun to visit with some of my husband’s co-workers too, which includes my husband’s used-to-be in-laws. They are nice and I like talking to them even if I don’t care for their daughter (to put it mildly, ha). Her father is a reverend and I am almost thinking about asking him about forgiveness…something I have a hard time with but he (and my stepson) seems to have down pat. He would probably be a good person to talk to about the subject.

On Christmas Day my husband’s family is having a Christmas party. Truth be told I am not looking forward to it much because of the rift(s) in the family but my husband’s youngest sister is coming in town from Nebraska so it will be great to see her, my brother-in-law, and my nephews. I will get to see Brianna again too so that is something to look forward to.

Oh pooh, my husband and I still have to shop for my nieces and nephews. Gift cards!! Or maybe that would be something fun to do at the Village tomorrow?

After Christmas there is another family party, again for my Dad’s side of the family. My Aunt Candy and Uncle Jerry were supposed to host this year but they were co-opted by Aunt Rose (she outranks them being older and all). They decided to still do a party but after Christmas. So I will get lots of family time this year which is good because it will make up for last year. I think lots of positive family time is just what I need. My Aunts and Uncles are super fun too…

This is Aunt Candy and Uncle Jerry dancing at my cousin’s wedding:

Haha, too cute!

So yes, I can’t wait to get together with my family.

Christmas Eve– I want to make a special dinner but I am not sure what I am making yet. One thing positive is my husband will be off work for a few days and I will get to spend some time with him. He was almost going to work the road Christmas eve because he short on paramedics but I put my foot down. He works too much and too hard to have to work on Christmas Eve…besides he needs a break. Luckily he was able to get someone to work it. I was also thinking about attending a candlelight service somewhere but I am not sure yet… or perhaps volunteering somewhere.

I only hope I can spend some time with my nephews over Christmas. I would like to take them to Greenfield Village or Crossroads Village– that would be fun.

I want to try to get up north–either up to my parent’s place or to Mackinac. I really need some up north time and I haven’t been up north in the winter for some time now. I am looking at taking up snowshoeing (and eventually skiing) but I have to get in shape.

I have some positive stuff to look forward to so I shouldn’t let the negative bring me down. Got to keep working at it.

Maybe I’ll feel better, get in the Christmas spirit if I go all out decorating my house:

LOL, ain’t that the truth!