I don’t know what it is– okay, I kind of know some of what it is– but this fall has really sucked for me so far. I have been really tired, really super ache-y — I haven’t felt this bad in a long time. All I want to do is stay home. I am in hibernation mode already and that isn’t good. I don’t even want to go to school, I just want to be left alone. Well, I just want to be with my husband and that is all. It sucks because I can’t be doing this right now, I can’t afford to feel this way. Too much to do with school, work, and family issues– right when I need to be on top of my game it seems all the stress is catching up to me. I am just too stressed to break free of wanting to hibernate and even sleep isn’t satisfying.
I have been having vivid dreams– not exactly nightmares but not pleasant dreams either. I had a dream that I was yelling at the sociopath my brother made children with because she wouldn’t leave my family alone. It was not fun and in the dream she was even more rotten than in person. Then I had a dream I was having an affair (Oh yeah– I had a dream a few nights before that my husband was having sex with another woman). Oh I enjoyed the affair, I was so in love with this man; don’t know who he was but I felt for him what I feel for my husband. I kept feeling bad in the dream because I didn’t want to hurt my husband. The dreams seem so real, so colorful but they are disturbing; in them I am really stressed so when I wake up I don’t feel rested and I don’t even really feel awake for a long time. It sucks big time.
So tonight I am going to say a big F U to home work and spend some quality time with my husband. Then in five days I will have my little affair– the movie “Magic Mike” comes out on DVD and I am going to spend some time watching it (maybe in bed!) since I didn’t catch it in theaters, LOL.
Jacquelyn's Space 