I think I have been overdoing it lately. Well, the past 16-17 months– since my baby niece died– have been a real bear to handle. Too much drama going on all the time– too much fall out from that difficult time to process– in addition to my normal busy life. I can handle my own emotions and hurt but it is dealing with everybody else’s ‘stuff’ and ‘nonsense’, not necessarily their emotions and hurt though, that has me worn out. I need a rest yet I keep overdoing it.
I didn’t get much of a rest this past summer, nor much vacation time. I had hoped to, plus get some other things accomplished, such as looking for a better job– didn’t happen. I was to overwhelmed with all the drama from the past year and with dealing with graduation parties, throwing a baby shower, keeping my nephews, and then my stepson’s issues. I was just worn out. Then I got into grad school. Yay! But now I can’t enjoy it because I am still worn out. Plus, as soon as I started school, I started getting more hours at work. Going to school part-time (well I almost have full-time credits with only 2 classes), and working part-time but more hours than I am used to is really kicking my ass. All I have been wanting to do is sleep when I am at home, which isn’t helpful for my homework and home front; I am already behind at school, stressing to catch up and my house is unorganized and a mess. Not to mention I haven’t had any time to write in my blogs or do any writing just for me– this makes me sad and frustrated! Now I am sick with the flu, in part because I have been over doing it and not been getting enough rest. Of course it doesn’t help that people go to work sick. Grrr and double Grrrrr!
I just need a break, a couple of weeks (or months) up north by myself or just me and my husband. I wish I could arrange that– that would be paradise. I am trying to be positive and fight my way through the fall…and get my situation set up so I can look for a better job and/or cut my hours for next semester at school. Then maybe I can get some rest, find some peace, and actually enjoy grad school.
Jacquelyn's Space 
Leave a comment