Jacquelyn's Space

To an ‘overprotective’ motherfu….ah, mother:

Ha

No, Jordan has not been partying it up with his friends all week. Chuck an I are not that lax in our parenting, thank you very much. You always think that and that is BS — or you say it, but perhaps you have  underlying motives?? Who was it that called Chuck and told him Jordan is 18 now and can make his own decisions?

Now I do believe a kid should spend time with his friends and at his age, yes, friends are still everything. While he has seen his friends some, he has pretty much been staying home. He has been helping with the open house and spending time with his dad. Hell he even helped me and my dad out. Sorry he didn’t help you  out for the open house you gave him — but if that was the case, that he didn’t help out and you didn’t plan on making him do so then why couldn’t he go to Mackinac with us that week? But I digress…

Most of time time Jordan has been at the house not out running around. I wish we could have done something as a family this week but unfortunately we did not have the time. Jordan needs to spend time with us too…he needs to spend time over here sometimes, as much as you don’t seem to like it. Most of all Jordan needs some independence — to do the things he wants to do, to make his own choices, even to make his own mistakes. Like you said a few years ago, we (I replaced that pronoun — you actually said you would pick up the pieces if Jordan messes up… and yes I have an awesome long term memory especially when it concerns Jordan and Chuck) may just have to be there to pick up the pieces…or hopefully to cheer him on.

– I do not think Jordan is doing drugs or drinking. Chuck and I have both asked him about it and we trust him when he says he hasn’t/isn’t. I could tell you a story about one lesson he learned but I won’t right now…

– I can’t help but to say this — if you are that concerned about his doing drugs and messing up again just because he is hanging out with his friends then there is a trust issue there. Perhaps you should seek counseling… and you should have gotten Jordan counseling when HE asked for it that time a couple of years ago when he messed up and smoked marijuana. 🙂

– We have also asked him about smoking cigarettes because he has a persistent cough. He denies smoking too. I believe him…but even if he is, I know I cannot control what he does especially when he is not with me and he cannot and will not be with me (or any of his parents) all the time, that’s a fact.

– Just because a kid likes to hang out late with his friends does not mean he is getting into trouble and doing drugs. Kids just like to hang out late and be goofy. Plus you exaggerated or lied about the number of times he has come home late and you are assuming we are let him stay out late all the time and basically do what he wants. Get over yourself.

In my opinion, this all seems like a ploy to get him to stay close to your house rather than spending time over here and it makes you seem jealous. Is this ever going to stop? I mean, you are going to have to let Jordan go at some time or another– he is leaving for the Navy in a few months. He is going to come back a man with his own life and own ideas (which his parents or even Michigan may not figure prominently in) and you may not even be able to control and manipulate him. I know you won’t see it as I do and you’ll have to forgive me if I’m wrong…or don’t because how dare you! You don’t like it much when the shoe is on the other foot, do you?

And on that note…what about the future. I certainly do not want to have this power struggle — to deal with these damn control games you like to play — for the next 40 years or so. It’s not good for anybody but especially Jordan. What are we going to do about it?