I really need to write a book.
I have been writing up a storm this semester hence why I have not been posting to my blog. I added about 10 pages to an essay on Saturday that was already to long. It is 20 pages total and not even complete yet. The challenge is to cut it down but I am a little burnt out with writing today (and yesterday). Probably because I am extremely tired after a challenging week-end (not enough time to write – too many birthdays this time of year). I stayed up Monday night/Tuesday morning researching and working on a couple of essays (wrote at least 9 pages between the two), then I had to stay up last night and work on a presentation (more research, analysis, and writing). I have only gotten about 5 hours of broken sleep over the last two days – it is taking its toll. I just don’t feel right. I should go home tonight and start on one of the 3 essays I have due, or finish up that 20 essay but all I want to do is crash. Oh wait, I can’t, I have a concert to perform tonight. I know I will be ready to pass out after that.
On top of all these damn essays, I have to keep a journal for my creative non-fiction class. I should be writing at least 300 words a day – not too difficult by itself but there is all the other stuff to do. I have been writing that much everday, just not in my journal. I wasn’t able to get around to it last week and I don’t even want to deal with it today. Plus, I have written a crapload of stuff already – over 34, 000 words for that journal; I am not sure of a page count but it is probably 35 -40 pages. Wow, no it is actually something like 65 pages -I just checked- after I combined my two journal documents. Writing takes a lot out of me but I do love it once I get going. It seems all I want to do is write these days.
I have gotten many lovely compliments from my writing professor. She very nurturing and has something positive to say each piece of writing she gets. It is easy to write for her – I don’t get all junked up thinking my writing or my idea is trash. Although the compliments make me feel really good about my writing, I didn’t think it was anything extraordinary. I still have a lot of work to do on my writing. There are some really talented people in my class and when I read their essays I wonder why I didn’t thing of that or why can’t I phrase stuff so well, etc.
Yesterday, I had a conference with my writing professor. She likes to meet with all her students at least once, one on one. We had a great conversation, mostly about my writing, and then she paid me the greatest compliment. I want to keep this one with me, especially when I write. I had asked her if my writing was okay – it wasn’t to dense, too much? – I wasn’t quite sure how to word, only that I had been throwing a lot of pages at her and it is not all happy stuff – This prof, who is a published author (a little ethos for you), asked me it she could ‘reveal’ something to me. Of course. She then told me that she doesn’t read my essays until last – she saves them. I had noticed she was doing that with my online journal. She told me she saves my essays because I was a great writer and I had a lot to say, so my writing is dense, thick, but that wasn’t bad. It was grown-up writing. She said that there are Hemingways and there are Faulkners types of writers; Hemingways write simply with short sentences, Faulkners are more complex, have a lot to say about everything. She said I was a Faulkner. I was like, wow. I almost cried. That lifted my spirits last evening for sure. Now I need to go read me some Faulkner and keep plugging away at my writing.
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