Jacquelyn's Space

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

After a lovely evening on Mackinac Island we had a beautiful day. We had breakfast at the Grand (steak, yummy! Breakfast was better than dinner) then enjoyed the porch for a while. I sat and read for school (Virginia Woolf, The Voyage Out, ha) wishing I could live at the Grand. Then we hiked the island.

We started out on the west bluff, admiring the great houses that overlook the Straits and the Bridge. What wonderful views they have, and wonderful gardens. At the end of West Bluff Rd there is one of my favorite trails – Pontiac Trail, which runs narrowly along the west bluff and out to a small neighborhood with large hedgerows as fences. From there we went searching for the spot called Lover’s Leap. It was nothing too special, an outcropping of rock on the bluff, which became overgrown with shrub through the years. We actually had passed by it many times and thought it was private property but it is on a piece of State Park land that is between the private property. The spot seems forgotten.

From there we went to find Sunset Rock. Someone had told us it was behind the Inn at Stonecliffe. We had never been back there so it was an adventure. The Inn looks like something out of a storybook – they (the website) call it Edwardian style but to me it looks Tudor or Elizabethan. Though it is close to the west bluff it seems far from everything on the island – secluded. We had to go behind the Inn to find the trail to Sunset Rock. The map for that part of the island is not really good so it was hard to find the trail back on to State land (we were afraid of trespassing ) after a couple of wrong turns we found Sunset Rock and it was worth the trouble of getting there. Sunset Rock is on a cliff that juts out of the forest and has panoramic views of the Straits, the Bridge, and the Upper Peninsula. Yay, I am glad we finally searched it out and I will come back to watch the sunset from there; perhaps stay at the Inn at Stonecliffe.

After we found the Rock we hiked it back to British Landing then walked on through the middle of the island just enjoying the day and nature. We passed the cemeteries and I remembered the time in 2008 when we passed by on a carriage ride and I caught a chill. I hoped that didn’t happen this time because in 2008, after the carriage ride and the chill, I got sick. My stomach started to hurt, then my lower back, which made it hard for me to lift my feet and walk. Then I got really cold. My husband and I had to stop and rest on a stone bench in the sun so I could get warm. We actually left the island a little early that trip and I barely made the drive home I was so sick and feverish. I don’t know why but I always associate that illness to passing by the cemetery. I was diagnosed with a stomach parasite a couple of months later – not sure if I got in on the island or what but to me the events are linked. We passed by the cemetery without incident this year.

It was getting later, close to time to think about catching a ferry. I started to get anxious. I thought we were mistaken about when the last ferry was leaving that night. We looked at the ferry schedule and ascertained it would leave at 9pm, which is really late for this time of the year. Even though we had looked at the ferry schedule a few times got the same result I was still anxious, thinking we were going to miss our ferry. I usually get melancholy when I know I have to leave the island so I thought the anxiety was part of not wanting to leave. I felt like something bad was going to happen.

We did make the ferry. My anxiety dissipated but I was sad to leave the island. The moon was full and shone on the Lake. It was another beautiful night. I don’t remember ever crossing the Straits in the dark so this was something new. I tried to snap pictures but of course most did not turn out. When we got back to the mainland the boat dock was deserted. Our luggage was not at the baggage claim! We did track it down at the office but I was anxious again.

We hopped on I-75 for the trip home. I was just anxious to get home but also wanted to keep an eye on my speed. I couldn’t wait to get home and relax. I thought about how great the trip was. I thought about the house I thought was haunted. I had a dark vision of a  scary couple – kind of like the American Gothic painting but darker, evil. Did they belong to that house? I thought something was in our back seat. Nothing back there – don’t be silly. I just had this darkness hovering over me for a bit. I attributed it to my fatigue and anxiety. I pushed it away.

I was doing about 68mph.

 The road is dark even with a full moon. I look down to check my speed – still okay. I look up and there is something in the roadway! It was right in the middle of the lane and I didn’t have time to swerve – it was too big and too close for just a little swerve. I decide to run it over rather than go crazy all over the road. I had learned that the hard way many, many years ago. It, whatever it is, makes a heavy clunk as we run it over. Then another clunk as it hits the bottom of the car. Panic – did it damage the car? What is that smell?

Ugh, I smelled radiator fluid.

My husband tells me to keep an eye on the temperature. I switch over to the temperature gauge and sure enough the car was getting hotter. I really start to panic then. What should I do, I don’t really want to pull over to the side of the freeway in the middle of nowhere. Where is the next exit? What was the last exit?

I drive slowly for about a mile, maybe two and find an exit. I get off the freeway as my car goes into ‘cooling mode’ and the fan comes on making a clattering racket. Ugh! I pull into the gas station, the only thing around and turn off the car. It is still making that clattering noise. My husband jumps out of the car and looks underneath. I start pulling stuff out of the car in case it catches on fire. He can’t really see much, he is panicky too. He doesn’t know much about fixing cars (he doesn’t drive, never has due to an eyesight problem). He comes up from under the car and yells for me to turn the car off. It is off!! – I tell him. Oh no, my poor car, I hope it is not too damaged – the engine! I hope it is not going to catch on fire! Where are we? How are we going to get home? How are we going to get the car fixed? Oh no, oh no, oh no… The only thing I can think to do is call my Dad. It is around midnight. “Dad we need help!” and I briefly tell him what happened and that the car is making a funny noise and won’t stop. My Dad says it is probably the fan and will stop eventually. While I am talking to him I go into the gas station and ask the clerk where we are – Standish. Too far from home. I go back out and the noise from the car had stopped.

I make arrangements with my Dad for him to come and get us. Then me and my husband wait. I sit outside the car for a while in a chair we had in the trunk. I try to read for school but I am pissed and the night is lonely in the middle of nowhere, the wind is haunting. I thought about that haunted house and the scary vision I had while driving. I wondered what the fuck did I hit? It was not moving, whatever it was. At first it looked like a rounded lump in the road, it seemed to be dark brown and had a texture. In my mind as I got closer to it, it looked like an ape sitting in the middle of the road with its back toward us and his head down. What was it? Why didn’t I see it? Why couldn’t I avoid it? What was it? These thoughts went round and round.

My Dad picked us up around 3am. He couldn’t fix the car tonight. He said it needed a new radiator for sure and perhaps a new fan, fan shroud, and condenser. He said he could tow us home with his little Canyon pickup. I was doubtful until he told me he had towed my brother’s dump truck. I didn’t realize I would have to sit in the car the whole way, the car being off and in neutral, while I monitored the chain and kept at the ready to brake when necessary… I had never done anything like this again. I actually started to cry when my Dad told me. I was scared. We had 90 miles ahead of us – anything could happen. I had visions of my car rear ending my Dad’s truck and sending us both off the road, or visions of a big truck rear ending me and pushing me, my husband and Daddy off the road…scary visions. We started out. My husband rode with me. It was too fast – I was stiff with anxiety and panic. I cried out “He’s going to fast!” I said it over and over again until my husband called my Dad to let him know. Dad pulled over to the side and I tried to hit the break. No break! It felt like nothing was there anyway. I really started to panic, the chain popped off, then the car was slowing and finally stopped. Dad hooked us up again and after a pep talk we were off.

It felt like we would never make it. At the outset I sat stiff and scared in my seat – sweating, legs shaking, heart beating too hard and too fast, almost hyperventilating. Just as I calmed down a little and my heart was beating within normal range, my husband mentions the Zilwaukee Bridge, that massive hump you must cross when you travel to and from up north. How would I make it down that? I thought. I was getting used to being towed, keeping the chain slack, breaking steadily when going down hills but the Zilwaukee was one giant hill. Ugh. I made it though. We made it home safely thank God. It got a little scarier when traffic picked up close to Flint and everyone was heading off to work but we made it. ~

A compliment from my writing instructor,and a published author, on this piece:

 You should get credit for several THWADs (what she calls our daily journals) for this one, which documents such a scary and difficult trip.  I felt your angst all the way through — such good writing.  I don’t know if that makes you feel better, but once again you’ve demonstrated that there is some good even in bad events — your effort in writing about this event paid off with a startling and riveting account.  I’m so glad you made it home safely.