Jacquelyn's Space

I am so thankful for some coupons I got from Kroger. They sent me some coupons a few weeks or perhaps months ago and I found them again yesterday. Within the little packet of coupons were 4 free deals so I promptly went shopping and got a Dole bagged salad, a bar cheese (Vermont White Cheddar, yum!), a bag of Doritos, and some frozen veggies. All for free – no catch. I left the store with a little high, feeling like one of those extreme couponers. Yay!

Now I want more coupons. I don’t have the time and energy to go extreme but I would love to get all that I need and save lots of money. The newspaper never has any decent coupons and a cursory online search didn’t come up with much, sigh.

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Speaking of coupons, why can’t there be coupons for gas? Oh, well Kroger does have a little bit of a deal but I never spend that much there to get big money taken off my gas, plus I never rememeber to got their gas station. I am thankful gas prices are coming down a little. I hope this keeps up.

Oooooo it is a hot one today. Ugh! Usually I like hot weather but I am just not ready for it yet. We didn’t really have much of a spring – rainy and cold – and now it just jumps up into the 90’s? My Dad and I opened the pool yesterday but it will be a couple of days until it is ready. Wish we would have opened it last week but it is hard to determine when to open because of all the rain and ups and downs in temp. It is supposed to cool down again later in the week. I am about to take off to the beach today and/or tomorrow.

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My husband and I went to my cousin William’s wedding in Royal Oak, Michigan on Saturday. It was the first wedding I have ever been to where somebody fainted. The best man actually fainted during the wedding vows! Poor guy – it was because of the heat. He was ok but I am sure he was embarrassed. He made a joke of it in his wedding toast at the reception so we all got to laugh at it.

The reception was at a yacht club in Wyandotte, Michigan on the Detroit River. I didn’t realize the reception was going to be outside in a tent by the river. It was freakin’ hot Saturday and we were all just melting. My wedding was pretty hot and we had an outside ceremony but at least the reception was inside in the air conditioning (I received many compliments about my wedding Saturday too – it is gratifying that my family enjoyed my wedding and remember it – just what I wanted when I was planning). I don’t think I had ever been to an outside reception. They had to take the sides off the tent to let in what little breeze was coming off the river. It got a little nicer in the evening except for the mosquitos.

In spite of all the problems it was a nice wedding. Chuck and I had fun – the whole family had fun. At first the DJ played a lot of country music (who knew my cousin and his new bride were fans of country!) and I had little hope of dancing. My Dad and my Aunt Candy were not too happy about that either. (Yesterday my Dad was like ‘Why couldn’t the guy play some Jimi Hendrix or Stairway to Heaven…’ hahahaa – too cute).

Then the DJ started playing more my kind of music and me, Chuck, my Mom and some of my aunts and uncles got up there and shook our booties. It was fun. My aunts and uncles could not get over the fact that I knew the words to some of the old bootie shakin’ songs like Tone Loc’s “Wild Thang” and “I Like Big Butts” (a song I can’t resist hearing at every wedding now so I requested it and all the ‘youngins’ loved it). My Uncle Timmy was somewhat downcast because he said he didn’t dance very well (most of the guys just sort of bounce up and down, hehe. Well except for one of my youngest cousins Jimmy, who I learned has some stripper moves – his mom was suprised too, ha) so I grabbed him by the hips and started shaking him saying ” You have to shake your hips like this…” LOL, it was hilarious. He was surprised. My Aunts and Uncles even got my brother and Nicole out on the dance floor for a bit. Wheweee it was hot! I danced to about 4 or 5 songs in a row and about died because I am so out of shape and I was sweating my ass off but I didn’t want to stop because it was so fun. I need to get together with my family more, I need to dance more.

There’s some bootie shaken going on…

The mother of the groom, Aunt JoAnn

Love this!! Uncle Jerry and Aunt Candy

Now for the down side of the good – the bad…

We have been going out entirely too much lately — we went to the movies with my parents a couple of times in the last couple of weeks; saw Insidious – a scary but cliché ghost movie and Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, 3D – that was fun, love Johnny Depp — and need to cut back. Well, we certainly want to eat less and eat healthier so perhaps that will help with the going out part.  We need to find some free stuff to do – maybe we should make exercise (walks) our going out. That and the pool will be open soon, yay. The only bad thing is it is summer and I will want to go to the beach and up north. Of course I would love to go back to Mackinac (may not happen again this year but I am keeping my fingers crossed for the fall). Plus we have a membership to The Henry Ford this year. All this takes some money and to go anywhere of any distance takes gas, stinkin’ gas which is over $4 a gallon! Blah is what I say. Gas prices need to go down or they are going to damage our fragile economy. I need to see the beach dammit!! I cannot stand to be landlocked!! So that has been getting me down – worries over the high gas prices and thoughts of being landlocked all summer.

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Did you know there are some people, living in Michigan, who have not seen any of the Great Lakes? I cannot imagine…

I remember when my friend Rachel and I went to a beach on Lake Michigan when we were around 19/20. She had never been up north but I had not realized she had never seen a lake as big one of the Great Lakes. She could not believe how big it was and that she could not see to the other side! I could not believe she could not believe it!! Shoot, we didn’t live that far from Lake Erie, which is a pretty big lake too. She had never been. I just could not fathom not enjoying the Lakes when you live in the state that is famous for them.

Once I met a friend for a late night snack at Denny’s. I was showing her my pictures of Lake Michigan and the bluffs of Sleeping Bear Dunes. Our waitress was also looking at my pictures and asked where they were taken. I told her and she could not believe that was Michigan! She thought they were pictures of California or some far off place. Nope, all Michigan, and fairly close to home (at least within a half day’s drive). I just can’t ever believe people don’t enjoy the beauty and assets of the state they live in. Unfathomable! I said that already (in so many words) but it really blows my mind. I am so thankful I have had opportunities to enjoy the Lakes.

So that brings me back to this summer. I need to enjoy the Lakes and my favorite Michigan places at least. It is not a want but a NEED, Dammit! Shouldn’t have bought all that crap at JCP and ate all that damn food, heehee.

It is a lovely night out tonight – not too warm, slightly on the cool side. My husband and I took advantage of it and took our dog for a 2 mile walk. Yay! My leg muscles are contracting as I sit writing and it feels good. For the night and the exercise I am thankful. I didn’t want to go at first ’cause I was feeling tired and my allergies are acting up but now I am happy that I dragged my butt along.

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My husband and I had a great day all in all. He has not been feeling well but he dragged his butt out shopping with me. I like going mall shopping with him or looking at other stores beside grocery stores. We generally have a good time.

We have a wedding tomorrow (the first of my youngest cousins is getting married – how time flies! I remember babysitting him!) and needed to get a gift plus I needed a strapless bra (I hate bra shopping, ugh) for the dress I am wearing. We went to my favorite store, JC Penney. As usual they had awesome deals and I ended up buying 3 dresses! I couldn’t resist – they fit well, are washable, will go with my favorite black strappy sandals. The best part is they were 70 % off! I didn’t get the bra I went there for (I chickened out on bra shopping – just couldn’t hack it) but I have some new fun and flirty dresses to choose from for tomorrow. I was going to wear the gorgeous gold/champagne dress I wore to dinner at the Grand Hotel but I needed the bra for it and the shoes I have to go with it are too big and slip off (I am not impressed with the shoes I bought in May to go with that dress; they are not made well. My one JCP disappointment). I did not have any luck finding some better shoes today. Who knows I may end up in the gold dress tomorrow (I may just wear my wedding corset with it and struggle with the shoes because I really love the dress and wanted to wear it) but I am thankful for the dresses I found though, they are going to come in handy this summer I think.

All this talk of dresses and shoes, yikes! I annoy myself sometimes. I am not really all that involved (focused on?)  with what I wear most of the time but sometimes it can be fun. I worry about my shopping though – that is what I used to do when I was really depressed to make myself feel better. I am struggling with a depression right now so perhaps that is what all this focus on the clothes have to do with right now. Oh well, that will have to be it for my shopping this summer because I really have too many clothes. Half of them I am too big for but I am going to work on that for sure. The walk tonight made me realize how much I miss and need exercise. I feel good right now.

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We went to Bed Bath and Beyond to get the wedding gift. While we were there we saw 50 things we wanted to buy, haha. We saw this new soda maker that a lady was demo-ing. We got a free sample of cola which was quite good and tasted like Coke. It was a really cool thing that you make your own soda pop with (there were many different flavors). I want one! Don’t know why or how convenient it is but I want one. We also ran into my Mom at the store and I got to see my nephews who were in fine form. I will see them all at the wedding tomorrow too.

To top of our day shopping, mi amor and I went to Famous Daves for dinner were we ate too much. The food is too good!! It turned out to be a great day topped off by this lovely night.

To write or not to write that is the question that has been on my mind lately. And the question of what …

A friend of mine posted a new blog through facebook today about how she needs to start writing regularly. I did not realize (or forgot) that she kept a blog and certainly did not realize that she struggled with wanting to write on a regular basis. This mutual struggle inspired me to get writing today. Writing begets more writing and I have to get into shape for the upcoming school year.

Did you know that writing burns 120 calories an hour? I want to write my ass off but I often lack the time, motivation, proper subject or even the energy. Writing everyday is hard; keeping a blog is hard no matter how mundane the subject matter is. It does take work to write – the more you get into it the more you realize just how much work, how much energy it takes to write something not to mention something worthwhile. Especially something that turns your thoughts into wisdom or your words into a teaching/learning exercise.

Turn your wounds into wisdom. ~ Oprah Winfrey

Or you could change the quote to “Turn your words into wisdom.” That is what writing is to me – turning my thoughts, my words into wisdom so I can go back and read what I wrote and see a truth, see something I have learned from my experience, from thinking about it and putting it to paper.

I sort of belong to a writer’s group started by a friend. I have not gone the last couple of times because I have been in such a creative slump lately. I have not felt like writing. This is really disheartening. I am not sure why but some of it does have to do with the death of my niece. I do love the group (love talking about writing) but hate going with nothing to share.That and I do not know what I want to write about other than my experiences, this retelling of what I have been through, and going back to the quote above, the stuff that has wounded me. Perhaps it is less about knowing what to write than failing to have the confidence and the courage to write it. There are things I want to write about (things I need to write about), that I have written about that may be hurtful to others or may not be received well but it is my truth, my experience. For me, right now, it all has to do with audience and what I want to share and with whom. I could just keep a journal but what fun is that? But I am realizing that the writing I most need to do at this time is not fit for the writer’s group and may not even be fit for this blog. At least not in a first draft, working through stuff type of writing.

Actually I did start a journal but then we get into dividing my time and energy into many different writing projects – it is best to have one place to throw whatever I feel like writing down. That is why I love blogging. This blog is my one stop catch-all for my memories, writing – serious and silly, and whatever strikes my fancy on a particular day.

Overall I feel compelled to share some details of my life, my experiences – the good and the bad. Generally I don’t mind sharing any detail of my life with anyone (I like to live my life as an open book) but I often worry about the reception of what I have written. Can people handle it? These thoughts always bring to mind that line from A Few Good Men, “You can’t handle the truth!” Why do I care, really? My truth is mine and I should be able to write about it without worrying too much about my audience. The sad fact is though I just get junked up with fears about how will I come off as a writer and as a person – obtuse, anger, bitter, feeling sorry for myself, shallow, etc – while I write through what for me is some painful and complicated stuff. Is my writing valid, useful, original enough? I am beginning to realize I need to stop worrying about that. It is humanity that makes writing interesting. I have feelings and I am only human so at times I will be all the things I mentioned and more. Why not write about it? I have always perceived myself to be brave enough to do just that thus the blog. I have never been overly concerned with what people think about me. Lately I have been hiding though. This saddens me – in part I believe it must be my depression. It also has to do with not wanting to offend people, to be fair/impartial/diplomatic in all things. This is next to impossible and shies away from humanity. None of us can be fair, impartial and diplomatic in all things especially our own life and experiences or stuff that is dear to us. I also worry about putting too much out there that may be used against me somehow. Not that I have done anything particularly bad or wrong (or that writing about my experiences is wrong) but the way society and some people are these days you do have to be careful. It brings me down but I am not going to let it anymore and I am not going to let my fears and some people’s backward thinking or small minds run (ruin) my meanderings. Ha

“if something i say or write or type offends you… that’s because its true. you’re just too afraid of your own truths to admit it and own up to it.” ~ stolen from someone’s facebook status.

To write or not to write … definitely in favor of writing but still unsure about what and where.