Jacquelyn's Space

Yay! I am having a good day today – I am ‘winning’… I feel pretty good.

I finally met with my group for a chemistry project we have to do by Thursday. We hadn’t met until today; I’ve been hounding them too (at least pick a topic!), but everybodies schedules are tight so it has been hard finding time to get together for a chemistry class we could care less about. We got together today, picked a topic, tracked down our professor in her office and found out we can switch presentation days. The project seems like it will be a piece of cake now.

I met with my Advanced Psych group. We are doing research on media influence on obesity and impulsivity. I love my group for this class. Today we had a lot of fun joking around, trying to get back into the groove after Spring Break. One of our group members actually went to Costa Rica for her break. Jealous!! We were also making copies of our surveys and our experiment is ready to go live. Exciting!

Now I am on lunch – ate at the buffet because it is the best value but I am happy to report I at mostly from the salad bar and did not overeat. Yay! I also checked myemail and found through a supervisor of mine that the job I interviewed for last week is checking my references. I might have a shot at the job after all! I am excited.

Over lunch I also worked a bit on an essay I am having trouble writing and I actually got some good ideas. I should post my essay when it is done. I hope I get done at least – today is a day I feel pretty positive.

Just two more classes to go – cognitive psychology and bio-psych- and I am free for the day… well free to go home and do more homework.

Revisited….

It is lovely when a self-titled ‘wonderful mother’ can’t do right by her kids. It is something more than ‘lackadaisical and nonchalant’ and as angry as I get about it, it is not me that ultimately suffers, it is the kid(s) that suffers or is going to suffer.

Even though it is not much of a comforting thought, and perhaps my ‘judging’ may be considered out of line by some, at least I can say that I have always done right by the kid. I have done as much as I could.

Sadly, that is sometimes all a stepmother ever gets – these cold comforts.

I have been experiencing writer’s block and it is extremely frustrating. I have an English class this semester and have to write 4 essays over the course of the semester – so far it has been difficult for me to complete one essay I am happy with. I hate it!! That has been weighing on my mind, stressing me out, making me anxious and crabby.

I like to write, but I find that if my energy is low (which it has been this past week) or there are other things going on it my life like this past week, I cannot write. I like to find a big block of time (alone time preferably) devoted to writing and lately that has been difficult. I don’t have trouble with blog writing because it is just me writing about me, though I have not been writing on here as much as I would like. Plus I keep going back to my old idea – the more I write, try to write everyday no matter what the subject, make it a habit…the easier it will come. I just have to try harder and work on some self-discipline.

I need to change up my writing process or find one for that matter. Like I mentioned I like to have a big block of time, quiet time, in which I can write a whole piece in one sitting. I find it hard to write an essay or paper in a piecemeal fashion. I need to learn to do that though because seldom do I have that big block of quiet time, just small snippets of time.

Part of it is just settling myself to write. Part of it is not getting distracted. Yet another part is having the ideas at the ready. Energy too – energy is a big part of it. I need to find ways to help me get and stay focused as well as ways to drive up my energy. There is much work to be done on this, ugh.

My ‘Spring Break’ basically sucked. You can’t really even call it Spring Break because it is not spring and you don’t really get a break. Sure I didn’t have to go to class, which was nice, but I did have tons of work I could have worked on if I wouldn’t have been distracted by other things.

First off I wanted to relax a little which I did maybe the first two days. I have been working more so I did spend a few more hours at work than I have been used to. And I was nursing a hurt leg – I pulled some calf muscles at work in addition to having bruised knees from falling on my way into work (from the last God-awful blizzard we had).

Then I had to prepare for a job interview, which was tough for me because I have not really had a real job interview for a long time. This was for a job with the Department of Human Services. I had to drive down to Oakland University and Meadow Brook Hall (which is an awesome old mansion), about 50 miles away from where I live, three days in a row. It was kind of cool the way they set the whole thing up – first an informational panel about the job; next day a writing exercise and pre-interview, and then if you were lucky enough (which I was!) to get called back for the third day, a longer, more formal interview. I am sorry to say I don’t feel too confident about my second interview and competition for the DHS jobs is tight – there was easily over a hundred people at the informational meeting and the DHS is doing five or six of these employment drives around the state. But it was a good experience, good practice, and a couple of other agencies (private) were there recruiting so I got my resume out. Plus I found out about a beautiful place I want to check out.

http://www.meadowbrookhall.org/

So that was three days driving hither, dither and yon, and in a tither, LOL. Add on a fourth day because I had to drive down and go to court over a speeding ticket I detailed in another blog. At least that was a success but the driving back an forth and the stress and anxiety I caused myself really took its toll on me. Come Friday evening and Saturday I was not in the mood to do anything but veg out, which I did.

Now it is Sunday and I have nothing to show for my week (well that is how it seems) – no homework done and no motivation to do them. I really want to go do something fun but I know I should work on homework – plus I didn’t make any plans to go anywhere because of said homework. Ugh, I am feeling frustrated!

To look on the bright side I guess I will have a nice check because I worked more hours, I have some job opportunities, didn’t have to pay for my ticket, and I cleaned the house Friday plus spent time with my nephew Alex. I am getting my stuff organized for the back end of this semester, which after I will have my degree in psychology. Yay!

I am so happy today. I had a bit of luck.

I got a speeding ticket in December and decided to fight it – cannot afford the points on my license. My hearing was this morning in a town some 50 miles away. I woke up early and scrambled to get everything together and myself ready so I could leave early enough to make it on time. I didn’t want to go, especially when my husband told me the roads were bad but I went.

I almost turned back as soon as I left my driveway – the roads were bad and I had trouble getting traction. I pushed on. It was slow going; there were points on the freeway where I was crawling along at 10 mph. I must have seen 4 or 5 cars that had slid of the freeway along the way. I called the court to let them know I was running late; they were really nice about it – the lady I spoke with told me to take my time, we could reschedule if need be, once I got there.

Finally I did make it. I was probably 20 minutes late and I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to go through with this today or reschedule. Lord knows I really didn’t want to go down to court again.

I entered the court room prepared to be told I would have to reschedule. there were about 5 people sitting around but no magistrate. I looked around for the cop who wrote me the ticket – no one in uniform or familiar. Could I be so lucky?

A few more people entered and sat down. A court secretary came in and asked if a few people were present – me being one of them. Eventually the judge came it. She called the first person – a lady slow to recognize her own name. She went up to the podium; the judge told “The officer who issued your ticket failed to appear, your case is dismissed. You’re free to go.”

I was on edge with anticipation then – could I really be so lucky? The judge called me next. I went to the podium, afraid to approach because as I got closer I noticed a huge, creamy spider on it. “Yikes” thought I. It must have been a sign of good luck because the judge said to me “The officer who issued your ticket failed to appear, your case is dismissed. You’re free to go.” I hesitated, not really believing, but then said “Thank you” and left trying not to do a happy dance out the door.

Wahoo! When I got out I stopped to put my coat on and a man came out after me. He looked at me and smiled, “That was painless. Cop must be out because the roads are so bad.” Thank God! In the morning what I thought was a really bad thing – the icy roads – turned to be a blessing in disguise. I love blessings in disguise!