And while we’re on the subject….

While we are on the subject of not feeling good and having no energy…
 
I really hate having to explain my lack of energy to people. Or at least I feel that I have to explain why I am always tired and do not have enough energy to do all that people want me to. I have Chronic Fatigue. People think it is a made up illness because no one really knows what causes it exactly or how to treat it. It is also hard for people to grasp the concept that a person with Chronic Fatigue is really ill because there are not any prominent physical signs/symptoms to the disease that people can empathize with, such as a limp, or puking or a rash, etc. Mostly I am just very exhausted, so much so that I cannot think and I get crabby. I really just can barely function – it like I get in a funk. I could sleep for 10 – 12 hours a day and not feel any better. I have to conserve my energy to get the things done that I need to. I really have to prioritize. It really sucks when 4 hours of work knock can knock me on my ass. Or not getting the proper amount of sleep for one night drains me for the next 2-3 days. Yeah, people don’t really understand. They think that I can just will my way out of feeling tired or drink some coffee (or take an energy pill) and I will be alright. No, doesn’t work like that, caffiene doesn’t do anything for me. There is only so much a person can accomplish on sheer will power before they hit a wall. It is a constant struggle. It is hard to explain too. Hard to feel valued in today’s society that runs, runs, runs. Hard to find understanding.
 
So to all my friend and family who see me struggling, who help me, who stand by me, who understand why I may not be able to do everything you want me to do (it really does impact the social life) – THANKS  
 
Published in: on August 31, 2009 at 11:51 am  Leave a Comment  

Back to the same ole, same ole

Struggling! OK, I haven’t been writing in my blog too much lately. Not enough energy. ARGH! This is frustrating to me because there is so much I want write about, not just my personal life and struggles but also I am yearning to write about issues that matter to me. It seems the more I write, the more things become clear in my mind and I begin to generate ideas. I love ideas! And I want to create – I love creating.  I just need to find the freakin’ energy to write everyday. This summer has been a mixed bag of some great vacations and a lot of activity between feeling sick and run down. I have had very little time for writing and creativity, although I have done a little reading which has started the wheels turning in my head. I need to find more energy. I have a pretty good idea what has been bringing me down – allergies have been super bad this year, and my chronic fatigue has been very bad… so I get sluggish and depressed. It seems I have developed asthma or some kind of lung problem. My Doctor is no help at all, not even for my allergies. Doctors have really not been any help to me at all for a while now. I have been severely let down it this department. Health care really sucks these days! This makes me just want to give up.
 
My efforts to find more energy:
 
I have been trying to exercise. I bought a wii and the wii fit board. I love it – it actually makes exercising fun so I hope that will help my energy level. I need to start eating better and taking vitamins. My thinking is I need to buckle down and lose some weight and work on getting healthier. I feel the less I weigh, the better I eat, the more I will be able to build up my immune system. My breathing problems could be tied into my weight problem.
 
I have been going to an alternative health practioner (well just 2 visits so far) of holistic medicine. Actually my Mom has been taking me. I have not really seen any benefits yet; I am hoping to eventually see some the more I go, the more I take the medicines she gives me, as well as my efforts to eat better, take vitamins and exercise. I just need to keep at it. Kick into high gear.
 
I also need to start writing again to try and keep me from getting frustrated, angry and depressed. The only thing is I need to find energy – need to keep my energy level up. All this comes back to energy and it roles in around in a vicious cycle. No energy to do everything I need to do let alone exercise and eat better, no energy to write, so then I get depressed and sick and have even less energy, then I get discouraged and want to eat to perk myself up, and lay around to try and get some kind of rest…. round and round. I need to stay positive and rely heavily on will power to get stuff done. Exhausting!! But I will break out of this cycle.
 
Next week starts school again. I am excited to go back but I am also apprehensive. There is so much I want to accomplish – do I have the energy? Am I ready to face the challenges? Can I juggle school, work, trying to shape out, family and all the activities I want to do? I feel very weak. I have been feeling especially weak for the past year and a half. It really sucks. I was hoping to feel better before I went back to school this year but I truly don’t . Scary. So I am back to the same ole, same ole – feeling like crap, struggling to get prepared for school, and hoping for the best.
 
 
Published in: on August 31, 2009 at 11:04 am  Leave a Comment  

Heartbreaking

SPCA exec’s dog dies after being left in hot car

The 16-year-old dog dies of kidney failure after being left for four hours

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32569213/ns/us_news-life?gt1=43001

This article made me so angry. I can’t believe the woman in the article – of all people, she should have known better. I just keep thinking that this is BS. This exec should step down! How could you not know that your dog was in the car? So stupid… so know are other people going to get away with using that as an excuse, "Honestly, I didn’t know my dog was in the car!" yeah, NO EXCUSE!

Published in: on August 27, 2009 at 9:25 am  Leave a Comment  

Talking about Resilience: Build skills to endure hardship – MSN Health & Fitness – Caregiving

Published in: on August 17, 2009 at 5:13 pm  Leave a Comment  

Talking about How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It

 Wow this is a great article. I can see a lot of psychological research and papers coming out of this. It is all about men and women’s differing reactions to stress and comunicating. Interesting food for thought….

Quote

How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
Forget everything you’ve heard about frankness, sharing your feelings, getting him to express his. Research into the functions of the male mind makes it clear that discussion may be the fastest way to shut down communication. (Oh, you noticed that, have you?)

Published in: on August 17, 2009 at 2:54 pm  Leave a Comment  

Summer Fun

KIDS!!

Mackinac Island

Upper Peninsula Camping

Hot days in the pool

County Fair

 

Published in: on August 17, 2009 at 2:33 pm  Leave a Comment  
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