Jacquelyn's Space

UGH! I have a paper and presentation to do for the class I dislike (Reading Pop Culture) and I can’t seem to find the inspiration to do it. I was thinking about doing the presentation on simulated sex – guys and porno/people and sex toys/fake boobs and penile implants, etc – but I think that might be too risque for the class. It is on topic though. I was talking to a classmate and she said that it might be too close to what we have discussed already. I think there is more ground to cover on that topic; I actually think the topic might be too broad for just one paper/presentation. Plus, I am a little scared about the presentation part. I don’t think I can go into class and show porn sites and sex toys.  This was my origianl inspiration (warning -adult site)  http://www.realdoll.com/ I saw a program on HBO a few years ago about these dolls. It is just too weird but I think it kind of illustrates Baudrillard’s theory of simulation. This class is so complicated! I have really had a hard time with it. I think part of the reason is I tend to look at things from a more individual/psychological point of view and with this class you have to look at things from a social/cultural point of view. UGH. again! I am stressed. A good thing is that all I have to worry about now is this paper and presetation and the algebra final. So far I have a 4.0 in algebra so I only have to get better than about a 76 on the final to maintain that. WOOHOO.

 

 

In honor of Shakespeare’s birth and in remembrance of his death (I guess his birth is celebrated on the date of his death, April 23rd, because his exact bday is unknown) I am going to blog some of my favorite sonnets of his. Also, I am in the Flint City Theatre’s (http://www.flintcitytheatre.com/) production of Titus Andronicus, which is a kick ass play written by Shakespeare. It has blood, revenge, rape, murder, and oddly enough, a little wicked humor. From Titus Andronicus:

Demetrius: Villain, what hast thou done?
Aaron: That which thou canst not undo.
Chiron: Thou hast undone our mother.
Aaron: Villain, I have done thy mother.

 

SONNETS

 

CXLI.

In faith, I do not love thee with mine eyes,
For they in thee a thousand errors note;
But ’tis my heart that loves what they despise,
Who in despite of view is pleased to dote;
Nor are mine ears with thy tongue’s tune delighted,
Nor tender feeling, to base touches prone,
Nor taste, nor smell, desire to be invited
To any sensual feast with thee alone:
But my five wits nor my five senses can
Dissuade one foolish heart from serving thee,
Who leaves unsway’d the likeness of a man,
Thy proud hearts slave and vassal wretch to be:
  Only my plague thus far I count my gain,
  That she that makes me sin awards me pain.

This is the first sonnet I fell in love with a long time ago. It reminded me of someone I once loved.

CXLVII.

My love is as a fever, longing still
For that which longer nurseth the disease,
Feeding on that which doth preserve the ill,
The uncertain sickly appetite to please.
My reason, the physician to my love,
Angry that his prescriptions are not kept,
Hath left me, and I desperate now approve
Desire is death, which physic did except.
Past cure I am, now reason is past care,
And frantic-mad with evermore unrest;
My thoughts and my discourse as madmen’s are,
At random from the truth vainly express’d;
  For I have sworn thee fair and thought thee bright,
  Who art as black as hell, as dark as night

I love this one. A truly lovesick poem. I love the the last line "Who art as black as hell, as dark as night" Awesome!

 

XXIX.

When, in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possess’d,
Desiring this man’s art and that man’s scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven’s gate;
  For thy sweet love remember’d such wealth brings
  That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

This one is just sweet.

LXXI.

No longer mourn for me when I am dead
Then you shall hear the surly sullen bell
Give warning to the world that I am fled
From this vile world, with vilest worms to dwell:
Nay, if you read this line, remember not
The hand that writ it; for I love you so
That I in your sweet thoughts would be forgot
If thinking on me then should make you woe.
O, if, I say, you look upon this verse
When I perhaps compounded am with clay,
Do not so much as my poor name rehearse.
But let your love even with my life decay,
  Lest the wise world should look into your moan
  And mock you with me after I am gone.

 

 

I got my cap and gown today!!! I also got my silver honor cords and honor button! Awesome!! I didn’t expect that. I can’t believe I am finally graduating. I am getting emotional. This will be my first graduation since, well, 6th grade. Yes, I dropped out of high school and later got my GED. I wish I would have went to college directly after I received my GED but I guess I shouldn’t look back. I should write a blog about being a HS drop out one day. I really think they should raise the drop out age to 18 but that is a blog for another day. "It is never to late to be what you might have been." George Eliot… Now I feel like I am finally on the right track. I have to figure out my next steps. I need to keep plowing ahead towards my Bachelors degree. Then on to my Masters and eventually my Doctorate. I think my goal is to be like Dr. McCain (my favorite professor at MCC) or like Dr. Reeves or Dr. VanEttten – they are two great counselors and instructors at MCC.

 Speaking of Dr. McCain and Psych, another good thing – ! don’t have to take my last Psych test. That is a stress relief right there. I don’t have to worry about studying. I did well on the other tests so between that and my extra credit I am getting a 4.0 – YES! So that is one thing off my list. I had a Algebra test today (mostly graphing – yuck) and I think I did all right. So that is another thing off my list. Now I just need to concentrate on my paper and presentation for the class I dislike (Reading Pop Culture), my scene for acting class, and the dreaded Algebra final. If I do well on all this I may be able to pull my GPA up from a 3.5 to a 3.7 or 3.8. I hope so.

I am freakin’ out! I have two weeks of school left but a lot ot pack into the 2 weeks. I have 2 math tests (one of which is the final, covering the whole semester – who can remember all that stuff!?), a psych test, my scene for acting, and a paper and presentation for the class that I am not fond of (Reading Pop Culture) to look forward to.  Add to that play rehearsal and I may be starting a new job. I am  a little stressed. I have not felt very motivated lately. I have just wanted to goof off and not concentrate on school. I think it is because spring is finally here. I am excited to be graduating soon, and excited to have a job interview tomorrow but the excitement is making me have ADD, hehee. I am also trying to figure out what I should do about the next phase of my education. If I get the job I have an interview for tomorrow, I will have to work during the day, so I will only be able to take night classes and may only be able to go to school part-time. I looked over the course offerings at U of M Flint and they do not have too many night classes. They have quite a few online classes but I want to stay away from those if I can. I may just stay at Mott an extra year and take some computer, management, and writing classes. I don’t know. I just know that I want to stay in school, and keep pursuing my education but I am all fired up now about working too. I have a couple of bills I want to pay off so I don’t have to worry about them. It is good not to have to worry about bills while you are in school.  So that is what has been on my mind lately. If you all don’t hear from me for a couple of weeks, don’t worry – I will be back; blogging with a vengeance after I graduate. I want to keep writing. 

 

I think I made a new friend. I am so excited to have met this person. I went to the cafe at school Wednesday and it was very busy – there weren’t any empty tables. I was seated at a table with someone else, an English professor. She seemed to be about my age and has curly hair like me, so I felt comfortable. I didn’t think she was a professor at first. I really needed to study for my psych test but of course I could not be rude and ignore my table mate. I introduced myself and learned  that she was an English teacher at Mott. I am always curious about where people got their degrees from, so I asked her about her degree. She went to U of M and then Michigan State for her Masters. She has a degree in American Literature. She actually teaches at a few colleges and lives north of Detroit. We got to talking – I asked her if she taught any literature classes, she said not yet. I had to talk about books I love (Jane Austen), so we starting talking books – classics, you know. She recommended a book and we talked a little about Louisa May Alcott (Little Women, Eight Cousins) Well, I am not too much into American Lit but I do love L. M. Montgomery – she is a Canadian author who wrote the Anne of Green Gables series, 1908 or so). Come to find out that this professor loves L.M. Montgomery and actually has a sub-specialty in the study her writing. Awesome! As Anne would say – we are kindred spirits! We had a nice lunch talking about Anne of Green Gables, Prince Edward Island (where the Anne books are set), which segued into a discussion about Mackinac Island, Up-north, our love for Michigan …. we actually have a lot in common. We both were surprised to have found someone else who loves the same type of books. She is probably even more surprised to find it in a community college student, hehee. We exchanged emails. I hope that we can become bosom friends (another Anne phrase). Yes, I am a nerd.

 

I am going to miss the cafe when I leave Mott. I am not ready to leave yet.

On April 15th, 1912, the RMS Titanic sank. "The sinking resulted in the deaths of 1,517 people" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RMS_Titanic 

I have been a Titanic buff since Dr. Robert Ballard discovered the wreck of the ship in 1985. I don’t know what intrigues me about the ship and it’s story but I have always found it fascinating. Here are some links to some great books about Titanic:

 

 

 

Lawrence Beesley, a professor on his way to America, gives his account of surviving the sinking of Titanic. It is riveting. Another good thing about it is he give a great account of what it was like to sail on the great ship. The book is a collective of survival stories.

 

 

 

This is an awesome book that compiles many survivor accounts of the sinking. I couldn’t put it down the first time I read it.

 

 

 

Along with the discovery of the wreck of the Titanic in 1985, this book is what got me hooked on the subject. This is an excellent fictional account of a young woman’s survival of the sinking. It is a book geared toward teens but it is a lovely read regardless of your age.

 

Visit these two great websites for more Titanic information:

 

These people are awesome. They really know their stuff!