Jacquelyn's Space

I am getting ready to go to Chicago and my brain is just going a mile a mintute thinking about what I have to do. In between all those thoughts are thoughts of school, more specifically psychology. I was just thinking about jealousy and I had to write down my thoughts.

First I was asking myself "Is jealousy a motivator?" I mean is there any good to it? Where does it play in psychology, the various theories and schools of thought. I have not really come across much about it in school. I hope it will be addressed in Ab.Psych but to be jealous is not really that abnormal, is it?

I am thinking of a specific person when I write this. Those of you who know me (if anybody ever reads my blogs, haha) well will know who I am thinking of. OK so, jealousy is a normal emotion. The bible says it is wrong so I think that is why so many people have trouble with it when they feel it. Jealousy is not wrong, in my opinion. It is wrong to get all bent out of shape over it though. Whenever I feel jealous, I just think of all my blessings, all my goals (do I really want what the other person has – reason it out), and all that I can acheive and then put those feelings away. It usually does go away. Other people do not deal with jealousy that well. Some people let it bend them out of shape and they get angry and then they take it out on the people they love or the person they are jealous of. Sometimes they get competitive and may even chase after goals/ideas/things they really did not want in the first place. It changes them.They end up looking like an idiot though. It is because they cannot accept the fact that they are jealous, cannot face that emotion, do not accept the fact that it is a normal thing to feel. Just deal with it! They need to take some time to analyze their emotions honestly, and then maybe they won’t end hurting people, looking like a fool, or making foolish choices – i.e. letting the jealousy rule them.

I think at times jealousy can actually be good. It may make a person stop and take stock of what they really want. It may spur them towards a goal. Sometimes the competiveness can be healthy – a person may actually step up their game to acheive the object of their jealousy. As long as the jealous person knows themself – what they are feeling and why they want what they want. As long as they do not let jealousy bend them out of shape. What do you think? Does this make sense?

I was thinking about this also because I think jealousy is out of control with a lot of people in America. "Have to keep up with the Jones" I think that mentality has a lot to do with the housing crisis and credit crunch we have going on now.

I had another thought. People often cannot face up to feeling jealous because it means that the other person is better than them. The jealous person is less than or has less then the object of their jealousy. That hurts. It is hard to face for some people. It also gives the object of jealousy power and that is bad. If anybody reads this please let me know what you think.

I have been having an awesome week so far, other than being kind of crabby. Maybe I need some meds!  

School has been going pretty good. I got a B (81%) on my Ab.Psychology test, which isn’t bad considering the class average is 64.4%. I messed up on one of the essay questions. I will do better next time.  My psych professor, Dr. McCain, gives hard tests. The good news is she throws out your worst test  when computing final grades. I had Dr. McCain last year for Theories of Personality and I really like her. I wish she would be my mentor. I am afraid to ask her though. She paid me a great compliment last week. She said, "You know, Jackie, you really were my beacon of light last year." I guess the rest of the class did not do very well, some people were upset – it was a difficult class. She told me I did the best out of all the class. I worked my ass off in that class. My first test I did horribly on so after that I did not fool around. I ended up getting a 4.0, which was amazing. I was so thankful that she and remembered me and took the time to tell me too. Dr. McCain is awesome!

I am taking an acting class this semester and we are working on monologues. I have another great instructer in that class – Dan Gerics. He is an inspiration to me – so talented and full of creativity. I am not sure if he really likes me though. I guess I get the feeling that he is not sure of me or something. Well I did my monologue in front of the class for the first time Wednesday (just a preliminary reading) and I received some nice compliments. The best part was I could tell that Dan really liked it too. That felt really good. I was reluctant to do it on Wednesday because lately I have been going through some shit, not wanting to get up in front of people – not wanting to be looked at. I get like that sometimes. ‘I want to be alone!’ I think it may be Seasonal Affective Disorder – you know the whole wanting to hibernate in winter thing. So I am glad I pushed myself to get up in front of the class. Check out Dan’s theatre – http://www.flintcitytheatre.com/

Another good think is I got an A on my first Algebra test. Woohoo! I am proud of that – math is not my strongest subject. I am going to have to study my ass off to keep that up. I also got and A on my first English Paper (Reading Pop Culture, it is a distance learning class). This is a hard class. So far it has been very irritating and not enjoyable. I hope that gets better. I have another paper due on Monday or Tuesday. That is one of the reasons it is so irritating – I never know for sure when papers are due. The prof will email the class on Monday with instructions on when to turn it in. Just give it to us now, dammit! 

Now for the piece de resistance – for Valentine’s Day  my husband booked us a trip to Chicago!  We are going for the week-end and will be staying at the Palmer House Hilton right downtown. I love Chicago and I love the Palmer House. I hope to hit the Art Institute of Chicago. I will have to drag my husband. He should be happy – the AIC is free this month! I am getting excited. I was very surprised but I am worried also because I have a lot of homework (have to take some with me darn it  ) and stuff I need to do before we leave. What the heck am I blogging for?? 

 Here are some pics from a trip we took in Summer 2005. There is the lobby of the Palmer House; Michigan Avenue; Chicago skyline from Navy Pier ferris wheel; skyline with Hancock building (I hope we go to the restuarant up there this trip!)